Split
by Sleeping Bag
Summary: Raven puts all her negative emotions into a separate body to free herself from her father, and naturally hilarity ensues. And some drama, too. Rated because I don't trust myself to stay PG!
1. Ch 1: Evelyn

(Disclaimer: I don't own the Titans. It's tragic, really.)

_-CHAPTER ONE: EVELYN-_

"Eureka!"

Raven's voice echoed through Titans Tower. The other Titans paused briefly to wonder what she was on about, only to be further mystified as the black shape of her astral form sped past them, making a beeline for the living room. And it indeed _was_ a line, in even the strictest geometrical sense—one of the benefits of being able to phase through solid matter.

Once she reached the living room, Raven re-solidified herself next to Robin, who was watching TV on the couch. He jumped, and screamed slightly.

"Robin, I'm just going to do a bit of shopping," Raven said, ignoring his response to her sudden appearance. "If something happens, just go ahead without me."

"Uhhh…sure thing, Raven," Robin said hesitantly. "What exactly are…"

"I'll explain later, but now I've got to go," Raven interrupted him, and turned back into her astral form and flew off towards the city by the most direct route, which happened to take her through the couch, a nearby wall, and Robin himself. Robin gibbered for a moment, but quickly calmed down, adjusted his mask, and went back to watching TV as if nothing had happened.

**OOO**

Raven returned to the tower about two hours later, heavily laden with various boxes and bags. Not only was _she_ heavily laden, but so too were her powers—nearly a dozen other boxes floated along behind her as she went. There was even something that looked distinctly like some kind of cage, and although it appeared to be empty, it shook and rattled every so often.

"Um, hey, Raven," Beast Boy said. "You working on something?"

"Can't talk now," Raven said, her voice muffled by the pile of items she was carrying, above which only the very top of her head was visible. "I'll explain later."

With that Raven trundled off towards her room, inasmuch as it is possible to trundle whilst levitating, her vast collection of boxes and bags following her like ducklings after their mother. Beast Boy stared at her retreating back and scratched his head.

**OOO**

"Alright, Raven, what did you…call…us…for…?" Robin said, his voice trailing off as he entered Raven's room. He and the other Titans gawked in amazement at what Raven had done to her room. It was just as dark and gloomy as ever, but the various décor items on pedestals had been moved to the far corner of the room, apparently to make room for some of the masses and masses of weird, or perhaps _wyrd_, items that were scattered around on her floor. There was no apparent pattern to the placement of the items, but still the Titans knew better than to touch them, and remained standing in a tight cluster just inside the doorway. Raven poked her head out from around what looked like a six-foot-tall jade Buddha statue that had been carefully placed a foot and five-and-three-quarter inches away from the end of her bed, due north-north-east, in accordance with Scranton the Mad's Axioms of Eldritch Placement.

"Oh, good, you're all here," Raven said. "I guess I can start then."

"What the heck is going on, Raven? What _is_ all this stuff?" Robin asked as Raven sat down cross-legged at the edge of a large chalk pentagram that she had carefully drawn in the middle of her floor. She opened up a large leather-bound book (at least, the Titans _hoped_ it was leather), and began hurriedly flipping pages.

"Oh, it's just a spell I happened across earlier today," Raven said absent-mindedly as she flipped through her book. "If I'm right, it should allow me to sever my connection with my father."

"What? Raven, that's incredible!" Robin said.

"Yeah, I know," Raven said with a smug smile.

"Uh…so how does it work?" Beast Boy asked, eyeing what appeared to be some kind of monkey hand that had been placed on one of Raven's shelves.

"It will transfer all my dark emotions into a separate body," Raven said. "Since my father controls me using my dark emotions, getting rid of them should free me from his hold."

"A separate body?" Robin asked.

"Yes. The spell will essentially give my dark emotions a physical form to inhabit. It should be virtually an exact copy of my body, if I understand this correctly," Raven said.

"But then will we not have to defeat this evil doppelganger, Raven?" Starfire said. "She will have all your badness, and if she is a copy of you, will she not have your powers as well?"

"I thought of that, Starfire," Raven said. "What I'll be casting isn't just one spell, it's two bound together as one. The first one gives my dark emotions a body, and the second one removes that body's powers, so we won't have to worry."

"Um, that's great news and all, Rae, but why do you want _us_ here?" Cyborg asked. "Just to tell us?"

"No, no," Raven said. "Like I said, this spell _should_ sever my connection to my father, _if I'm right_. If I'm _wrong_, you guys might have to…errr…_subdue_ me."

Needless to say, this last revelation darkened the mood somewhat.

"Well, if you really want to go through with this, Raven, we'll support you," Robin said after a moment. The others nodded in agreement, and Raven gave them a small smile.

"Thank you. I'll begin the spell now," she said, and began reading from the book that still lay open in her lap. The words were in an ancient language, and largely unpronounceable without a decade or so of careful study and practice—some of the syllables even had extra-dimensional harmonics, and Beast Boy had to cover his sensitive ears.

What appeared to be some kind of smoke materialized, hovering several feet above the centre of the pentagram. It began to rotate lazily, but it quickly sped up, drawing out into long strands that formed a loose orb as it went. It also began to give off light—while it was only a faint glow at first, when the 'smoke' reached what seemed to be its top speed it flared into an actinic brilliance that bathed the entire room in a harsh white light, nearly blinding the Titans. All the while, Raven had continued to chant, keeping her eyes closed so that she would be able to fully concentrate. Signs of strain began to show on her face, and her neutral expression transformed into a slight grimace. A faint violet glow, almost invisible against the glare of the rapidly spinning orb of light, formed around her body, and was drawn off into the orb, joining seamlessly with the other magical energies of which it was composed. This process seemed to weaken Raven further, and she began to sag a little, but still she continued her chant with only a slight waver detectable in her voice, as though all the strength of her whole being was directed into it. This was not far off.

Only once the last of her violet aura was pulled away into the orb did Raven stop her chant, collapsing forward to rest on her hands. The Titans were about to run to her side, but their attention was quickly redirected to the bright spinning ball of magical energy as it suddenly shrank in size, seeming to fall in on itself. Its light increased in brilliance as it did so, making its previous intensity seem positively dim by comparison. The light permeated everything in the room—it left no shadows, it allowed no images, there was only the light, blanking out all else. It only lasted an instant before receding back towards its origin, but that instant seemed to last for an infinity. It also did not behave like normal light—it did not simply decrease in intensity, it actually _receded_, as if the brightness was something in and of itself that was being pulled back. That anything as bourgeois as a photon could be responsible for this light seemed impossible.

As the light receded, the Titans were able to make out a silhouetted figure floating several feet above the centre of the pentagram. The light seemed to be withdrawing inside the figure, as if it was filling it up. After another few seconds, the Titans were able to make out the figure's features. They gasped in shock—it looked like Raven.

The Titans glanced back and forth between their friend, still sitting on the floor at the edge of the pentagram leaning forward onto her hands for support, breathing heavily, and this new doppelganger, bathed in light and floating several feet off the ground.

Then, the second spell began.

It had been laced in with the incantation of the first, so Raven spoke no more strange syllables. It also did not create any fancy lightshows, as the first one had—all in all, it was a much less impressive spectacle. However, as several carefully placed talismans and tokens around the pentagram began to give off something like living darkness, there was a pervasive sense of vague menace about this second spell. This darkness was different from the usual manifestation of Raven's powers—it was pure blackness, blotting out everything behind it, as if it drank in light. Tendrils of this darkness snaked up around the floating doppelganger, binding her, enveloping her, and then, just when it seemed it would cover her entirely, sinking into her, leaving her apparently untouched. The doppelganger awoke with a gasp, dropping to the floor in front of the original Raven, the pentagram mysteriously fading. Sensing that the spell was over, the Titans ran to Raven's side.

"It's done," she said, as Cyborg helped her to her feet. Raven smiled weakly. "It worked."

"Yes, it did, didn't it?"

The Titans turned to see the doppelganger kneeling where the centre of the pentagram had been, surrounded by a dark blue cloak that matched Raven's in every detail. Her head was lowered so that her hood completely hid her face, and she was breathing heavily. She began to laugh.

"I'm free…after all this time…I'm finally free…"

The dark blue of the doppelganger's cloak gradually changed to a deep red. She looked up, and the Titans gasped. Four glowing red eyes glared at them, and her snarl displayed slight fangs.

"Heh heh. That was a mistake, you know. Now that I'm free, I can do whatever I want," she said. "And the first thing on my to do list is killing you idiots!"

The doppelganger leapt to her feet, throwing her hands out in front of her. It took her a few moments to realize that nothing had happened. She stared in shock at her hands, then threw them out again.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" the doppelganger shouted, but again nothing happened. She stood in shocked silence for a few seconds, and then her face contorted in rage and she launched herself at Raven, who was still leaning against Cyborg for support. Robin and Starfire leapt between them in time to catch the doppelganger, and held her tightly. For all Robin's training, and all Starfire's alien strength, they still had difficulty holding her as she thrashed about in blind rage.

"_What did you DO to me, you bitch?_" she screamed as she tried desperately to break free from her captors. Raven gave a small smile.

"I removed your powers," she said quietly. "I couldn't have you going around causing trouble, now could I?" At this, the doppelganger calmed.

"That's not fair," she growled, and snorted in disapproval. She glanced at Robin and Starfire, who still held tightly onto her arms. "You dorks can let me go now, you know."

Robin and Starfire looked at each other, and then at Raven, who merely shrugged. They hesitantly let the doppelganger go, fully expecting her to try to attack Raven again, but she only dusted herself off, somewhat theatrically, and glared at them. With four glowing red eyes to glare with, she was quite good at it.

"Uhhhh…I hate to break up all the drama, but what are we going to do with her?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yeah, what are you going to do with me?" the doppelganger asked with a sarcastic smile. Robin sighed and ran a hand over his face.

"Well, killing her is _not_ an option. We obviously can't just let her go, but we can't have her running around freely in the tower, either," he said, and turned to look at Raven. "What do _you_ think we should do with her?"

"I was going to say we should kill her, but if that's not an option…" Raven said with a slight grin. Nobody else was smiling, though, so she continued. "We could always stick her in one of the cells downstairs."

"What? I don't want to have to live in some stupid old cell!" the doppelganger cried. "Besides, I haven't done anything!"

"You haven't done anything _yet_, you mean," Raven said.

"No, Raven, she's right," Robin said. "We can't imprison her if she hasn't done anything." The doppelganger grinned at Raven, but Robin wasn't finished yet.

"Besides," he said with a nasty grin, "it's not like she can cause _too_ much trouble, what with her powers gone and all." The doppelganger's grin faded, and she glowered at Robin.

"No, we'll put her in one of the guest rooms for now so she'll be comfortable," he continued. "Of course, we'll have to lock her in there at night. Powers or no, there's no telling what she might do once we're all asleep."

"What? Hey!" the doppelganger cried. "That's not fair!"

"Well, seeing as you're the manifestation of Raven's dark side, I think it's _more_ than fair," Robin said. "Be thankful that you aren't stuck in a cell, at least, although if you cause trouble that's where you'll end up, of course."

The doppelganger grumbled a little and kicked half-heartedly at a few of the magical talismans littering Raven's floor, but generally seemed to accept this plan.

"Okay, cool, but now what are we going to _call_ her?" Beast Boy asked—apparently it was his turn to be the (relatively) practical one. "I mean, we're going to be _living_ with her, right? We can't just keep calling her 'Evil Raven' or something."

"Yes! We must decide upon a name for our new…um…_companion!_" Starfire cried, stumbling a little over whether or not she should call 'Evil Raven' a friend, but recovering admirably.

"Oh, no!" the doppelganger said, backing away from Starfire. "You're going to call me something stupid like 'Fluffy' or something! No way!" Starfire looked deflated for a moment, but then perked up once again as an idea struck her.

"Well, then perhaps you would like to name yourself!" she said, smiling brightly. Raven groaned.

"Oh, _this_ is not going to go well," she muttered. The doppelganger ignored her, and stroked her chin thoughtfully.

"Hmmm…name _myself_, eh?" she mused out loud. "Well, actually I kind of like Evil Raven, but I can see how that might be a bit awkward. Evil Raven…Evraven…Evilaven…"

All four of the doppelganger's eyes widened as inspiration struck her.

"Evelyn! That works!" she said, and smiled with satisfaction.

"Ooookaay. Evelyn it is then," Robin said. "I guess I'll get your room set up."

Robin, Starfire, and Beast Boy left Raven's room, with the newly-named Evelyn trailing after them. Cyborg stayed for a minute to make sure that Raven was alright, and then he too left. He paused in the doorway and glanced back over his shoulder.

"Well, Rae, I've known you for a while, but I have to say that that was the single weirdest thing I've ever seen you do," he said with a smile. Raven grinned weakly.

"I think it's only going to get weirder," she said.

_-END CHAPTER ONE-_

**Author's Note:** Right, so this is really only meant to be partially serious, as might be evident from this chapter by itself. I'm probably going to be changing tones an awful lot, switching from comedy to drama even within individual chapters. I'll try to make it as seamless as possible—that's actually one of the things about the cartoon that I like the most, and I'll do my best to emulate it. With my old story Silly Villainy having been (rightly) taken off the site due to it breaking the 'No Script Format' rule (I guess I missed that when I read the rules after registering), I might be using this story as a bit of a humour dumping ground. This isn't to say that I'll be as completely random as I was in Silly Villainy, nor is it to say that this will just be crap that I'm writing on the fly. I have a definite plan for the dramatic parts, but there will probably be a few purely silly chapters thrown in for good measure.

I'm sure I'm going to get questions about exactly what the nature of this 'Evelyn' is, but hopefully most of them will get answered in the next chapter or two, so be patient.

Oh, and since I haven't seen 'Birthmark' (or _any_ of the episodes after 'Wavelength', actually—yeah, yeah, I'm working on it), I'm not going to really acknowledge the massive, plot-altering stuff that apparently happened there. I'll leave it open, though, in case when I finally do see it I want to incorporate parts of it into this story. I'll mostly just try to avoid committing myself to anything regarding the whole Trigon issue (other than the fact that this whole scheme is to release Raven from his influence—apparently the Titans know about that, which might be a plot hole. Yippee.).

Anyway, next chapter will see Evelyn dissatisfied with her (nonexistent) wardrobe. Starfire, of course, accompanies her to the mall, but what hilarity will ensue when Raven tags along to keep an eye on her evil incarnation? A psychotic, four-eyed Raven clone at the mall? Oh, yes, I think so.


	2. Ch 2: Questionable Tastes

(Disclaimer: I don't own the Titans. If I did, I wouldn't have to worry about the essays I'm ignoring while I write this. Ugh.)

_-CHAPTER TWO: QUESTIONABLE TASTES-_

The next morning began normally enough for the Titans. That is, until Evelyn wandered into the living room around eleven o'clock (her door had been set on a timer that only allowed her to open it herself between seven in the morning and midnight, so the Titans could have at least seven hours of sleep free from fears of stabbity death at the hands of Raven's evil double—it seems that they needn't have worried, because said evil double had slept in). Evelyn stopped at the top of the stairs, threw her deep red cloak over her shoulders for a more dramatic look, and put her hands on her hips.

"I have decided!" she said. The Titans stared at her.

"Um…okay," said Robin. "What have you decided?"

"Several things, actually," Evelyn said. "First: my room shall from now on be referred to as my 'lair', as befits my evil nature." The Titans continued to stare, but Evelyn ignored them, clearing her throat before continuing.

"Second: I need clothes, therefore I will be going shopping today," she said.

"Oh, joyous!" Starfire cried, but was silenced by one of Raven's patented death glares.

"And what _exactly_ is wrong with the clothes you have?" Raven asked.

"Well, I only have this one outfit, so unless you want me to walk around naked on laundry day I'll need to get something else to wear," Evelyn replied. "Also, the whole cloak and leotard look is kind of stupid."

"_What_ did you just say?" Raven said, twitching slightly. Evelyn grinned.

"I said the cloak and leotard look is _stupid_," she said, saying the word with particular relish. "I mean, it's fine for a goody-two-shoes like you, Rae, but I'm pure evil. I need something …I don't know…probably something a little more revealing, that's for sure."

Beast Boy drooled a little, and Raven punched him in the face without even looking.

"Oooh! Ooooh! And cleavage!" Evelyn continued, beginning to get excited. "_All_ the evil girls have their cleavage showing!"

"About that whole evil girl thing," Beast Boy said, recovering admirably from Raven's punch. "You're, what, that angry red Raven from inside Raven's head, right? The one that turned into that big red guy and was yelling about how hatred would rule, right? So if you're the embodiment of all of Raven's rage and anger, why aren't you attacking us?"

"Oh, silly Beast Boy!" Evelyn said, running up to him and pinching his cheeks, pulling his face in odd directions like she was playing with silly putty. "I only picked a red cloak because I like the colour! I'm the personification of _all_ of Raven's darker emotions! I'm her anger, jealousy, hatred, malice, greed, you name it, all rolled into one slick package!" She let go of Beast Boy's face, allowing it to snap back to its normal shape, and flicked his nose.

"I'm also her _lust_…" Evelyn said, with a suggestive smile.

Three lightbulbs exploded, several cracks appeared in the nearby drywall, and the refrigerator spontaneously scooted forward a few inches—in short, Raven was fuming. Robin put his head in his hands and muttered something about never being able to have nice things, and Cyborg leapt in to change the course of the conversation.

"Hey, yeah, a trip to the mall sounds good!" he said hurriedly. "We could all go. I've been meaning to pick up some transistors for a project of mine anyway." Starfire, who had been slowly edging away from the angry Goth girl sitting next to her, joined in next.

"Oh, yes! I could aid you in your search for new garments, Frie…" she said, but was again cut off by one of Raven's death glares. "Err..._Acquaintance_ Evelyn!"

"I guess I could go look at mopeds or something," Beast Boy said, rubbing his face where Evelyn had grabbed him.

"Yeah, right, grass stain," Cyborg said. "You're just going to go look in the toy stores, aren't you?"

"Hey! That's not fair!" Beast Boy cried. "I'll look in the candy stores, too!"

"I guess I _could_ do with some new clothes myself," Robin mused, half to himself. Starfire beamed at him, and he realised, too late, that he had just unwittingly consented to hours upon hours of her playing dress-up-Robby.

"What about you, Raven? Will you accompany us to the mall of shopping?" Starfire said. Raven arched an eyebrow and glanced about at the hopeful faces of her teammates, before settling in a glare at Evelyn.

"I guess so, if only to make sure _she_ doesn't cause too much trouble," Raven said. "Besides, I don't want anyone thinking that she's _me_, now do I?"

"Oh, awesome!" Evelyn cried, grinning broadly and throwing her arms around Raven's neck. "We'll be mall buddies!"

"_Shut up_," Raven said as she gingerly disentangled herself from her evil twin.

"Can we hold hands?" Evelyn asked, somehow managing to look perfectly innocent even with four glowing red eyes and fangs.

Raven just groaned. This was going to be a _long_ day.

**OOO**

The Titans arrived at the mall an hour later. The trip itself only took a few minutes, mostly because of Cyborg's casual disregard for the rules of the road ("What? If a cop stops us, we can just say we're going to take care of some bad guy!"), but Starfire took almost forty-five minutes to prepare herself for the mall, like it was some kind of Zen ritual or something. Beast Boy also took a while to get ready, but that was largely because he had to conduct a full search of his room to find his piggy bank. The difficulty of finding his money in the mess that was his room was usually the only reason Beast Boy ever had any money at all—he might well be the only person on the planet who uses a messy room as a financial plan.

The T-Car was a little overcrowded, what with six people in the car rather than the usual five, so Robin opted to take the R-Cycle, leaving the others to fight over where they would sit. Starfire managed to take shotgun, a position she had not ridden in ever since the T-Car's inaugural drive. In order to avoid the same fiasco that occurred that time, Cyborg took great pains to brief Starfire on which buttons did what, so that she would not feel the need to press any, or rather all, of them in order to see what they did. He also made it quite clear that he was more than willing to test out the passenger ejector seat he had just installed.

This left Raven, Beast Boy, and Evelyn to sit in the back. Evelyn called dibs on a window seat, and Beast Boy was about to as well, but then he caught the death glare Raven sent his way. Muttering something about chivalry, Beast Boy resigned himself to the middle seat. While he initially came to terms with this minor defeat with the thought that sitting between two girls who were, for all intents and purposes, virtually identical twins might be 'hot', to use his term, he found that reality, once again, had a nasty surprise in store for him. Instead of finding himself between two coy but affectionate purple-haired beauties (Raven was always much nicer to him in his fantasies—a bit bustier, too, but never mind that for now), Beast Boy found himself caught between Raven's non-stop death glare on one side, and Evelyn's deranged and slightly fanged grin on the other. The combined effect was disturbing, to say the least, and for once Beast Boy spent the entire car ride in terrified silence—the only sound he made was a surprised squeak when, halfway through the trip, Evelyn casually placed her hand on his thigh. Although she didn't say anything, Beast Boy could tell that this annoyed Raven, because her death glare magnified exponentially. When Evelyn began absent-mindedly stroking Beast Boy's thigh, he could have sworn he saw the windows of the next car over shatter all at once. It was hard to tell, though, because the car in question suddenly swerved wildly and slammed on its brakes, quickly dropping out of Beast Boy's field of view.

When the Titans finally arrived at the mall, Beast Boy leapt out of the car as quickly as he could and ran towards the mall entrance, whimpering something about "the horror".

"What's up with Beast Boy?" Robin asked, as he took off his helmet and tossed it into the T-Car for safe keeping.

"I'm sure it had nothing to do with Raven's little freak-out on the way here," Evelyn said, laughing.

"What?" Raven cried. "I did not freak out!"

"Yeah, right," Evelyn countered. "Tell that to the people in that blue Subaru back there." Raven blushed furiously, and pulled her hood up to hide it.

"Well, at least _I_ wasn't _touching him!_" she huffed.

"Wait, touching who?" Robin asked, but the others ignored him.

"I'd better go make sure Beast Boy doesn't do anything too stupid," Cyborg said, and set off after the errant shapeshifter.

"And _you_ are coming with _me_ so you don't get into any more _trouble_," Raven said, grabbing Evelyn's arm and dragging her towards the mall.

"What? That wasn't trouble! That wasn't even _mischief!_" Evelyn cried indignantly, her heels bouncing on the ground as Raven dragged her.

"Wait! Who was touching who?" Robin called after them, but again he got no response. "Dammit! Nobody tells me anything! Starfire, do you know what happened?"

"Sadly, no, Friend Robin, for I was far too engrossed in the many interesting buttons in the T-Car, although I was not allowed to touch any of them," Starfire replied.

"Oh," Robin said.

The two stood in silence for a moment, shuffling their feet a little, and then they looked at each other. Starfire grinned so widely that Robin thought the top of her head would fall off. She then struck a heroic pose, one finger raised high in the air.

"Onwards! To the menswear department!" Starfire shouted, and then slung a protesting Robin over her shoulder and flew off towards the mall.

"Oh, crap," Robin muttered, but Starfire ignored him.

**OOO**

"Hey, Cy! Cy!" Beast Boy called excitedly as he ran out of a candy store. He had quickly recovered from his ordeal in the car, aided in part by ungodly quantities of sugar.

"What is it, BB?" Cyborg asked, with just a hint of exasperation in his voice.

"Check these out! They're awesome!" Beast Boy said, holding up an orange and brown package for Cyborg to see. "Special edition Reese peanut butter cups!"

"It says they have fudge—what, like peanut butter-flavoured fudge or something?" Cyborg said.

"No, no, the chocolate coating is fudge-flavoured!" Beast Boy said. "Isn't that awesome?"

"Ummm…what, like _chocolate_ fudge-flavoured?" Cyborg asked.

"Well, yeah," said Beast Boy. "Of course."

"So, the chocolate coating is made to taste like something that is, itself, made to taste like chocolate?"

"Well, when you put it _that_ way it sounds kind of stupid."

"Yeah, that's pretty much my point."

Beast Boy sulked for a few seconds before his sugar-heightened awareness brought something new to his attention.

"Ooooh! Coin-operated mall rides! Sweet!"

Cyborg sighed as he watched the younger boy run blissfully towards the rides, and silently said goodbye to his small change. Then a blur of movement in his peripheral vision caught Cyborg's attention, and he turned to see Robin waving frantically at him.

"Cyborg! Cyborg! You have to help me! Starfire's gone crazy! She's…" Robin shouted, but he was interrupted by Starfire tackling him at high speed from behind. As she dragged him away by one foot, she scolded him like he was a misbehaving child.

"Now, Robin, you must not run from me! We have only just _started_ to try on outfits!" Starfire said. "We still have to look through Old Navy, the Gap, Bluenotes, Jacob, Pantorama, and Sears, as well as many other stores!"

"But…but some of those are for _girls'_ clothing!" Robin cried.

"Perhaps they have recently started lines of boys' fashions!" Starfire said. "We can afford to take no chances!"

"But…"

"_SILENCE! We can afford to take no chances!_"

Realizing the futility of trying to reason with Starfire when she was in mall mode, Robin began desperately clawing at the ground in an effort to break free, but to no avail. After the two disappeared around a corner, Cyborg just shrugged.

"Meh, he'll live," he said.

"Hey, Cyborg! I need thirty-seven quarters! Stat!" Beast Boy yelled from his perch atop a tiny bright red race car. Cyborg groaned.

**OOO**

"Come on, mall buddy! You have to keep up!" Evelyn called. Raven sighed in resignation and followed after her evil double.

Evelyn had broken free from Raven almost as soon as they had entered the mall. She had used her newfound freedom to lead Raven throughout the mall, with no real pattern or reason behind her movements. She would sometimes run ahead towards some distant store, other times she would double back to stores she had missed, still other times she would wind through a crowd of people almost at random, as if she was purposefully trying to annoy Raven. Raven suspected that this was indeed the case. To top it off, she had even caught Evelyn making several feeble attempts at shoplifting.

_Well, I guess she _is_ the embodiment of everything bad about me,_ Raven thought. _But who knew I was a closet kleptomaniac?_

"Oooh! The Goth Shop! Sweet! I love this store!" Evelyn shouted, and darted into the store in question.

"Oh, no," Raven grumbled as she tried to catch up. The Goth Shop was one of the few stores she could stand in this mall—whenever Starfire dragged her here, she usually just spent most of her time there, either browsing or just talking to the clerks, most of whom she was on a first name basis with.

_If Evelyn ruins my reputation in this store, I won't have anywhere to hang out next time Starfire drags me here,_ Raven thought. _Please, please, please, by all that is holy, don't let Evelyn do anything stupid._

"Wheeeeeeee!" Evelyn squealed as she ran past the cash register, where a dark-haired girl called Jess was currently sitting reading a book entitled "Increase Your Goth-Cred with Realistic Angst!" She looked up just as Evelyn ran by, and her eyes bugged out when she recognized the purple hair and cloak.

"_Raven?_ Is that you?" Jess asked. "Did you forget to take you medication this morning or something?"

"Jess, I'm over here," Raven said as she entered the store. Jess turned to look at her, and her eyes bugged out even more.

"Oookay, maybe _I_ forgot to take my medication this morning," she said. "I could have _sworn_ I just saw…"

"Yeah, that's my evil double, created using dark magic. Don't ask," Raven interrupted.

"Oh, okay," Jess said, and then she chuckled. "Jon is going to have a bit of a surprise."

"Oh, is he in today?" Raven asked. Jess nodded.

_Hmmm…good, I like Jon. He's cute,_ Raven thought, but then she frowned. _Wait, if _I_ think he's cute, then that means that Evelyn…oh, no._

Raven hurried to the rear of the store, where Evelyn had been heading the last time she had seen her. She rounded a rack of black T-shirts to find Evelyn locked in a deep kiss with Jon. Raven gaped. After another moment, Evelyn broke off the kiss, leaving Jon looking stunned.

"Whoopah! Beatcha to it, Rae! Eat my dust!" Evelyn yelled, and then ran off to continue browsing.

As Evelyn went about her business, wandering through the store as if nothing had happened, Raven quickly recovered. Jon, on the other hand, was still rather stunned.

"Red eyes…four of 'em…" he mumbled.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Raven said. "And just so you know, that _wasn't_ me, got it? So if you go telling your friends that you kissed a Teen Titan, I will find you and hurt you. _A lot_. Understand?"

"Fangs…little fangs…" Jon mumbled, and Raven took that as a yes.

"Ahoy there, pretty boy!" Evelyn shouted from the other side of the store. "Customer in need of assistance over here!"

This seemed to snap Jon out of his funk—his customer service training took over, and he hurried over to see what Evelyn wanted. Raven followed close behind.

"Uhhh…yes, er, miss?" Jon said hesitantly. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, I'm looking for something that makes a statement," Evelyn said. "Something that says '_Don't worry, I'll eat your children last_.'"

Jon's mouth dropped open, but before he could respond Evelyn skipped away singing to the tune of the Smarties jingle.

"Oh, when you eat your humans do you eat their children last? Do you chop off all their heads and stuff some garlic up their…Ow! Hey!"

Raven had beaned her with a rolled-up pair of black socks, thrown as hard as she could. They had a picture of a smiling teddy bear on them, as well as the caption "I'm going to kill you all!"

"Just pick something," Raven growled. "And _no more singing!_"

"Aww, you're no fun," Evelyn muttered, and picked out several T-shirts with slogans on them, such as "I'm only depressed because you're dumb", as well as two black skirts with matching tops, a few pairs of fishnet stockings, and a pair of elbow-length gloves with the fingers removed. As Evelyn paid for her choices, Raven reflected that it hadn't been nearly as bad in this store as it had been in some of the others.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Hi there!" Evelyn said, holding her face only inches away from that of the store clerk she was addressing, a well-dressed and proper-looking woman in her early thirties.

"Errr…hello," the clerk said, adjusting amazingly quickly to the sight of Evelyn's four red eyes. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Why, yes, actually, there is!" Evelyn said, not changing her position. "You see, I'm pure evil, so I'm looking for something that shows as much of my cleavage as possible!"

"Ummm…how _old_ are you?" the clerk asked. Evelyn grinned, showing her fangs, but Raven grabbed her and dragged her out of the store before she could do anything.

"Oh, come on!" Evelyn yelled. "I wasn't going to do anything _really_ nasty to her! Just some acid or something! After the first few minutes she'd barely even _feel_ it!"

_**END FLASHBACK**_

Raven shuddered. To think that Evelyn had been a part of her was frightening.

_I'm no social butterfly, sure, but _she's_ a complete psychopath,_ Raven thought.

She turned to leave the store, and was immediately confronted with a haggard-looking Robin.

"Oh, Raven! Thank God! You have to hide me!" he said. "Star's gone berserk! Fifteen stores in the past two hours! I'm on my last legs, here!"

"_There_ you are!" Starfire shouted, charging right at them.

"Oh, shit!" Robin squeaked, and hid behind Raven. "Quick, teleport me home or something! Anything!"

"Robin! We cannot stop now!" Starfire yelled. "We only have twenty-three new outfits for you! That is nowhere _near_ enough! Come!"

Starfire grabbed Robin firmly by the arm and dragged him off. He struggled and whimpered the whole time, but even his extensive training was no match for Starfire's alien strength, coupled as it was with the sheer determination that being in the mall instilled her with.

"What's _his_ problem?" asked Evelyn, one of her pairs of fishnet stockings stretched over her head.

**OOO**

The Titans spent a sum total of four hours at the mall. Robin could have sworn it had been at least eight, and to look at him afterwards you might have even have believed twelve. His repeated failed attempts to escape from Starfire's mall-crazed clutches had left him significantly worse for wear. Raven, as well, looked tired and irritable, although not nearly as bad as Robin. Spending four hours doing damage control for a rogue splinter of your own consciousness in a crowded mall is apparently an exhausting process.

The others, by comparison, were fresh as daisies. Starfire always found that trips to the mall left her feeling even more energetic than usual. Cyborg, while both he and his supply of spare change had been drained by keeping up with Beast Boy's antics, found the drive home unusually invigorating. Beast Boy himself was still riding the crest of his sugar high, and at the rate he was still consuming candy it seemed that he was going to stay like that for a long while—the only consolation for the rest of the team was the fact that he would most likely not be able to move when he finally did crash. Finally, realizing how annoyed Raven was getting with her, Evelyn appeared to be running on spite, an almost inexhaustible, and certainly renewable, energy source. Her satisfaction with her new clothes only served to enhance her mood—while most of her purchases had been fairly basic stuff to wear every day, she had also finally managed to find her perfect supervillain's outfit, which satiated her desire to show cleavage nicely. It consisted of glossy black pleather pants that fit her like a second skin, a _very_ low cut tube top, also black, and a choker necklace with silver studs. She decided to save the ensemble for special occasions.

Evelyn was currently seated on the kitchen counter, letting her feet dangle off the edge. She was wearing one of her skirts, a black top, fishnet stockings (worn properly this time, on her legs), and the elbow-length gloves she had bought, and was staring at Raven, trying to be as annoying as possible while still remaining silent, and therefore irreprehensible. Raven, for her part, was nursing an herbal tea, and obstinately ignoring her evil double. Robin had retired to his room to recover from his ordeal, Cyborg was trying to put an end to Beast Boy's sugar-fuelled winning streak in Mega Monkeys Six: The Revenge of the Baboon King, and Starfire was floating somewhere near the ceiling, unable to come down, the joy of being able to use Robin as her own private dress-up doll finally having gotten the better of her. Effectively, Raven and Evelyn were alone.

Evelyn hopped off the counter and made her way to the refrigerator to retrieve a Mountain Dew. Now that she was free from Raven's mind, she could enjoy all the little things that Raven denied herself—sickly sweet soft drinks were only the beginning. Evelyn looked forward to sleeping in, watching mindless television, perpetrating senseless acts of malice when nobody was looking, and many, many other things. For now, however, she amused herself by irritating Raven.

"You know, Rae, I think I look damn good in these clothes," Evelyn said, cracking open her Mountain Dew. "You would too, of course, but that raises a question for me: why do you always wear that stupid cloak and leotard get up?"

Raven growled, but Evelyn continued unperturbed.

"I mean, it's not exactly the most flattering outfit, is it?" she said. "Sure, it shows off your legs every once in a while when the cloak is out of the way, but I don't really think that they're your best feature."

Raven tried to calm herself, combining reciting her mantra under her breath with frequent sips of herbal tea, but it didn't work. Evelyn still continued, gesturing every so often for added effect.

"I mean, Starfire showing off her legs makes sense, but she's the tall, leggy ectomorph type. With your, or rather _our_, body type, we should probably stick with stuff that shows off our curves more. Showing a little leg isn't a bad thing, of course, but your cloak normally completely hides both them _and_ your curves. _Not_ a good fashion choice, Rae."

"Do _not_ call me Rae!" Raven snarled, her calm exterior finally cracking. "I don't _care_ about 'good fashion choices', I don't _care_ what looks good on my body type, and _stop drinking that vile stuff!_ You're making me feel _ill!_" Evelyn looked at the half-finished Mountain Dew she held and grinned.

"Oh, come on, _Rae_, you know you want to try it," she said. "_I_ wanted to try it, and I was part of you, remember?"

"Maybe so, but you aren't part of me anymore, _remember?_" Raven said with a scowl. "Every dark emotion that went into you has been cleansed from me. That was the point of the spell."

"Oh, right, of course. My mistake," Evelyn said with a smirk. She drained the rest of her drink and then turned to leave. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room."

Raven fumed, causing several fragile objects around the room to spontaneously break as her powers went on a brief rampage. However, one treacherous little thought nagged at her, breaking through even her bad mood.

_What the hell was that little smirk for? Does she know something I don't?_

Raven frowned, and her brow furrowed in thought, but her moment of reflection was interrupted by one of Beast Boy's cries of triumph from the sofa. She sighed, and took another sip of her tea.

_-END CHAPTER TWO-_

**Author's Note:** The plot thickens. Mostly humour this time, but some drama at the end. And who else was confused by the concept behind those special edition fudge Reese peanut butter cups? I actually wasn't making that up. Who the hell thought _that_ was a good idea? And who the hell _paid_ whoever it was for having that idea? I can come up with bullshit ideas all day, but I never see a red cent for it. Next time someone tells you that life is fair, punch them in the neck. _Really_ hard. They lie!

Oh, and I don't actually know anything about clothing stores. I have no idea if any of the list I mentioned (Bluenotes, Pantorama, Jacob, etc.) actually are women's clothes only, as Robin contends. Oh, well. Feel free to substitute in names of other stores that make more sense in context. And speaking of stores, I just made up the Goth Shop. As far as I know, it doesn't even exist. If it does, I was not in any way referring to a real store, at least not on purpose. I could have used something like Hot Topic or whatever, which I know of by reputation only, but from what I've heard Hot Topic is really more along the lines of Pop Goth (i.e. "Nobody loves me, I'm so angsty, pay attention to me!"), which I don't think is really Raven's scene. I don't even think that she considers herself a Goth at all. She just does her thing, and if people want to apply ultimately meaningless labels to her, she doesn't really care.

Also, I actually like Mountain Dew. But really, think about it, do you think Raven would?

Okay, moving on!

**To My Reviewers:**

Febreese and Mini Black Raven: Okay, first off, I don't like thinking about relationships between characters in terms of "pairings". It sounds like I'm breeding sheep or something. Second, I hate it when people get up in arms about which "pairings" are the right ones, and I hate it even more when people start making demands about these "pairings" of other authors. If you only want to read stories that are "RaeRob" or "RaeBB" or "StarRob" or whatever, that's fine. Just don't get in my face about it. I'm a reasonable person, I think, and will consider requests from reviewers, but I'm doing this for fun—if I can't get interested in a request, sorry, but that request won't get fulfilled. And if anyone makes any _demands_, well, I'm a spiteful, anti-social bastard, so I'll probably deny those demands even if I _do_ like them, just because I don't like being told what to do with my hobbies. I understand that these might not be demands _per se_. This is a remote medium of communication, so it's much easier to misunderstand things here than in person—I've had some experience with that kind of thing. I hope you won't take what I've said here as being with any kind of malice, since that is not my intention. Nor is it my intention to single anyone out. I just want to make my thoughts clear about these kinds of requests/demands/whatever, and you two just happened to raise the issue. Sorry that this turned into a rant. As for the "pairings", like I said, I tend not to think in those terms. You'll just have to read to find out. If you don't like it, fine.

kikyou's-reincarnation: Thank you!

ravenrocs4eva: Here's the update. It's not exactly soon, but whatever. And you should probably see someone about the running and screaming thing.

palekel: Okay, _this_ name I recognize. I won't get into that here, though (wrong place). Well, if people can sense some RaeRob action in "Fear Itself" ("Dude, he, like, totally just swung down and saved her in the elevator shaft!"), I don't doubt that you could make a case for that here. I wouldn't suggest it, though. If you did that, you'd have to acknowledge the little "moment" at the end as RaeCy action, and having Starfire help protect Raven from the raging Evelyn as RaeStar action, and then the stuff in this chapter as definite RaeBB action, and then Raven would just seem like a slut. You might even be able to make a case for RaeEve action, and that would just be wrong. Wrong, I say!

nevermoretheraven: I've actually seen a few of the new episodes now (up to "Birthmark"), since I was able to download them on Kazaa. I know, Kazaa isn't the cool filesharing program anymore, but whatever. I'm lazy, and it's what's already on my computer. Anyway, I still haven't seen all of the third season, though—I have yet to see "The Beast Within" and "Can I Keep Him?" Oh, well. I'll catch them eventually. "Revolution" is kind of a weird episode. As much as Mad Mod and Monty Python references amuse me the episode kind of left me…well, it wasn't entirely satisfying. As a Canadian, the whole "Yeehaw, we're Americans and we're the best" jingoistic undertone (hell, it wasn't even _under_, it was just a tone) didn't impress me much, either. Beast Boy was funny with a British accent, though. It didn't last _nearly_ long enough, in my opinion. Anyway, about the balance of humour with drama, like I said, this chapter was mainly humour, although some important (I think) stuff did come through regarding Evelyn's character, and there was some drama at the end. Basically, this whole story will be mainly humour, with the drama lurking just below the surface. Heh. Lurk. That's a great word. Lurk, lurk, lurk.


	3. Ch 3: Wake Up Call

(Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, I don't own the Teen Titans, fair use clause, yadda, yadda, yadda.)

_-CHAPTER THREE: WAKE UP CALL-_

It was now the second full day after Evelyn's "birth", and she was sleeping in again. At least, the Titans were pretty sure she was sleeping in, but for all they knew she might have been plotting their gruesome deaths—it's difficult to tell with evil, psychotic replicas of half-demon sorceresses. Robin, who hated being unsure more than almost anything else, had finally had enough around ten-thirty.

"Beast Boy, go wake her up and tell her to get in here where we can keep an eye on her," he said from his seat in front of the TV. He was playing Really Fast Racing Racers II against Cyborg—Cyborg was winning.

"What? Why me?" Beast Boy whined.

"Well, Cyborg and I are in the middle of a game right now, and you don't have anything to do, so I'm _giving_ you something to do," Robin said, not taking his eyes off the screen. "Besides, weren't you just saying how bored you were?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't see why _I_ have to be the one to go get the crazy person," Beast Boy said. "Why don't you send one of the girls?" Raven glared at him over her book. Starfire continued stirring her latest bizarre concoction, oblivious to all else.

"Beast Boy, just do it, okay?" Robin said, the combination of Cyborg's winning streak and Beast Boy's complaints beginning to aggravate him.

"Oh, I get it! You won't ask Star to do it 'cause you've got a crush on her, and you won't ask Raven because she'll hurt you or something!" Beast Boy said, pointing an accusing finger at the back of Robin's head. "I see through your feeble excuses, whipped boy!"

Beast Boy could not have picked a worse time to say this, as Robin had finally lost the race to Cyborg, for the seventeenth time, only moments before. Robin gritted his teeth and turned to face the shapeshifter eerily smoothly, like he was mounted on a turntable.

"You know, Beast Boy, my freeze discs have a very interesting effect on the human colon," Robin said in a bone-chilling whisper. "Would you like to see it?"

Beast Boy paled to a sickly olive green and backed away from the apparently temporarily insane boy wonder.

"I'll, uh, just go see what Evelyn's up to!" he said, laughing nervously. "Yeah, that's what I'm going to do!" Beast Boy ran to the door.

"Dude, where did you learn terror tactics like that?" Cyborg asked, a little taken aback.

"Training under Batman for a few years has its advantages, I guess," Robin said with a shrug, his psychotic episode apparently over.

"I'll have to borrow one of those freeze disks of yours," Raven said from across the room, not even looking up from her book.

**OOO**

"Uhhhh…Evelyn? Are you in here?" Beast Boy asked hesitantly. He had knocked on Evelyn's door, but received no response, so he was now standing in her doorway, casting nervous glances over her darkened room. Or, rather, her darkened _lair_.

"Evelyn? It's after ten-thirty. Are you going to sleep this late _all_ the time?" Beast Boy asked as he took his first cautious steps into the girl's self-proclaimed lair. "I really, _really_ hope you're not waiting to hit me over the head with something in here…"

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Beast Boy could make out a vaguely feminine form tangled up in the sheets on her bed, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

_Okay, she's just still asleep,_ he thought. _Nothing to worry about._

Beast Boy drew closer to the bed, his eyes continuing to adjust to the lack of light. He gave a small squeak of fright as the door hissed shut behind him, but quickly chastised himself for being so jumpy.

_Why am I being so paranoid? My eyes have pretty much adjusted to the darkness already, so it's not a problem that the door cut off the light from the hallway,_ he thought. _I'd be able to hear her if she was sneaking up on me, and even if she _did_ manage to sneak up on me, I've been doing the hero thing regularly for almost two years now, so I can react pretty fast. Besides, what's the worst a powerless teenaged girl can do to a freakin' superhero?_

No sooner had this thought passed through Beast Boy's head than fate decided to show him precisely what the worst Evelyn could do to him was. You see, Evelyn's bed was placed so that the foot of it was pointed almost directly at the door. As Beast Boy got closer, the angle of his line of sight naturally changed. The upshot of all this was that, once Beast Boy was within a few feet of Evelyn's bed, he was able to see that the sheets did not, in fact, completely cover the evil girl's body—they fell in such a way as to leave her back exposed almost all the way down to her waist. Exposed and, apparently, completely bare. Beast Boy nearly choked on his tongue.

_Oh, shit. Please, please, _PLEASE_ tell me she's not sleeping naked,_ Beast Boy thought. Reality can be cruel, though, and as soon as he thought that, Evelyn sighed softly and shifted a little in her sleep, causing the sheets to move so that they no longer left her back exposed _almost_ all the way down to her waist, but instead down to several inches just _below_ it. Beast Boy was horrified to realize that this extra revelation showed no hint of underwear whatsoever.

Now, it must be noted that while Beast Boy was indeed horrified on a cerebral level, as he was a generally well-meaning person who did not want to take advantage of anyone, he was still a teenaged boy, and teenaged boys, especially the generally well-meaning ones, are often of two minds about things. The first mind, which was the horrified one in this case, thinks using the brain, while the second mind usually thinks with, well, certain _other_ parts of the body—that mind was, needless to say, having a grand old time. So it was that Beast Boy found himself in the position that had been occupied by so many well-meaning teenaged boys before him, and which would be occupied by many, many others after him. That is, his two minds were locked in an intense private struggle.

_Whoa,_ the second mind thought simply.

_No! No! Look away! We mustn't think like that!_ cried the brain mind. _She looks like Raven, our teammate!_

_Yeah, she _is _pretty hot,_ thought the other mind.

_What? No! You know what I mean! We can't get involved with her! It would be awkward and embarrassing!_

_But it would probably also be smoking hot. Besides, Evelyn isn't _actually_ Raven, she just _looks_ like Raven._

_Well, yeah, but Raven would still kill us if she found out about it._

_No way! She digs us! Why else would Evelyn have been coming on to us in the car, Smarty-Pants? She used to be a part of Raven, remember?_

_Hmmm…interesting point. You do realize, however, that if that particular emotion ended up in Evelyn, it's been purged from Raven. Ergo, Raven will kill us._

_Oh. I had forgotten about that. Right, shall we run for our lives, then?_

_That sounds good._

Beast Boy spun on his heel and prepared to head for the hills, or at the very least the piles of dirty laundry in his room, but of course Evelyn chose that exact moment to wake up. Out of the corner of his eye, Beast Boy saw her sit up, yawn, and stretch. Realizing the inevitable consequences of a girl who slept naked sitting up in bed without apparently making any move to secure the sheets about her body, Beast Boy clapped one hand over his eyes. He began edging slowly towards where he figured the door was, but Evelyn's voice stopped him before he could make good his escape.

"Oh, hi," she said as sweetly and innocently as possible. "Enjoying the view?"

"Robintoldmetocomegetyouit'stenthirtyandhewantstomakesureyouaren'tplottingtokillusorsomethinglikethatandyourbreakfastisprobablygettingcoldsogetdressedandcomedowntothelivingroomplease," Beast Boy said, in a rush that even Starfire would have had trouble pulling off. Evelyn giggled.

"Oh, come on, Beebs, you don't have to be so uptight," she said. "I don't mind if you look at me."

"Uhhh…yeah, but Raven will probably kill me," Beast Boy said, his voice wavering a bit. "Wait a minute—did you just call me _Beebs?_" Evelyn giggled again.

"Is that a problem? And don't worry about Raven," she said, and Beast Boy heard the soft sound of sheets sliding aside as Evelyn got out of bed. "She doesn't need to know."

"Um…it's Raven," Beast Boy said. "She'd find out somehow."

"Hmph. She really keeps you on a short leash, doesn't she?" Evelyn said. "It's almost like you're already married."

Beast Boy didn't respond, and there was a minute or two of silence before Evelyn spoke again.

"Okay, you can look now if you want," she said.

Beast Boy sighed with relief and turned, opening his mouth to say something, but he was met with nothing but pale greyish skin with the occasional bits of purple…He clapped his hand back over his eyes and turned away again, shaking. Evelyn laughed.

"You said you were dressed!" Beast Boy cried.

"No, I said you could look," Evelyn said between fits of laughter. "I never said _anything_ about being _dressed_."

Beast Boy opened his eyes just enough to see his way to the door, taking care not to catch any further glimpses of Evelyn in even just his peripheral vision, and made a run for it.

"I'll be down in a minute!" Evelyn called after him. "Save me some waffles or whatever!"

**OOO**

Seconds later, Beast Boy flopped down on the living room couch, a stunned look on his face. Cyborg and Robin looked at him questioningly.

"Where's Evelyn?" Robin asked.

"Oh, she's coming," Beast Boy said vaguely, apparently focussing his eyes on a spot six inches to the left of the TV and fifteen light-years behind it. Cyborg and Robin looked at each other, then back at Beast Boy.

"Okay, BB, what happened?" Cyborg asked. Beast Boy snapped out of his trance and turned to look at him. His eyes darted back and forth to make sure nobody else was in earshot. Starfire was still cooking in the kitchen, having transferred her mixture to another pot after it ate through the bottom of the last one, and Raven was still reading across the room.

"Well, let's put it this way," he said in a barely audible whisper. "If Evelyn is an exact copy of Raven other than the eyes and fangs, I now have certain evidence that Raven is, in fact, a natural purple."

The other two boys looked confused for a moment, and then gaped at Beast Boy. He nodded gravely.

"_Please_ don't tell Raven. I didn't mean to see Evelyn like that, she ambushed me, but Raven will still kill me if she finds out," he said, just as Evelyn entered the room, a huge smile on her face.

"Hey, everybody!" she shouted. "Guess who just saw me naked!"

Raven didn't move, but every light bulb in the room shattered at once, the cupboards all opened spontaneously, dumping out their contents, and the microwave exploded, causing Starfire to dive for cover under the kitchen table.

"Oh, shit," said Beast Boy.

_-END CHAPTER THREE-_

**Author's Note:** Short one this time. I hope this didn't push the PG-13 limit, I tried to keep it as clean as possible, no in depth descriptions or anything, just hints and innuendo. Quote of the Day: "Oh, Ur, your innuendo is priceless." –Inignaut (or however you spell his name)

**To My Reviewers:**

ravenrocs4eva: Here's the update! Enjoy!

Magpie's Lament: I don't know who this OhmifuckinggodIloveyou person is, but I don't really think that a review is the best time to propose to…oh, wait, you meant…oh, geez, _that's_ awkward. (coughs) Anyway, I think your smiley face thing is upside-down. It's Batsmiley! Fear him! (runs to avoid commitment)

Febreese: Like I said, I didn't mean to single you or Mini Black Raven out or anything, so don't feel bad about it. As for Evelyn's eventual fate, well, that would be telling, wouldn't it?

CrAzY aUtHoR pErSoN: Thanks! Evelyn's eyes will be staying all evil and glowy and red, although sometimes even _I_ forget that as I write this. As for her being funny, well, she might be taking a bit more of a sinister turn later on (heh, heh). I won't be stopping this story until it's done—it's my other one, Stalker, that I'm having trouble with.

Ultimate R-Man: Thank you very much. I hope what I have planned will confound your attempts to second-guess my plot. I agree that many Raven-centred stories have very similar basic concepts—if I see another Raven suicide story, I think I'm going to scream. And the ones where she and Beast Boy, or Robin, or Cyborg, or Slade, or whoever realize their everlasting love for each other in the first paragraph of the first chapter and then spend the rest of the story going on dates and making out and stuff kind of bug me. Oh, well.

Pun-3X: Thank you! It really isn't surprising that so many people obsess over character romances, since humans are naturally social creatures that crave companionship. With that in mind, the romance obsession in fan fiction kind of turns into an interesting projection phenomenon, to use some Freudian terminology that I only half understand and has probably been proven wrong in the last few decades. I'm looking _way_ to deep into this, aren't I?

palekel: You, my friend, have just raised a very interesting point. If all of Raven's dark emotions have been removed and placed in Evelyn, why is Raven still getting angry? Is anger not a dark emotion? Did the spell not really work the way it was supposed to? Was the spell really intended to accomplish some other, darker purpose? Sorry, but if I answer any of these questions now, I'll be revealing one of my main plot points—no, I didn't just make a mistake, Raven's continued anger is very much according to plan. This will probably be a fairly short story in all, probably only six or seven chapters at the most, so you won't have to wait long to see how it all pans out. I _will_ say that this precise point comes back to bite Raven in the ass eventually. I don't know about the Rae/Eve action, though. I tend to prefer a little more variety in my lesbians.

Blackbird: Care Bears? Maybe Hot Topic is switching over to emo or something. This just in, folks! Emo is the new Goth! (or not…) Anyway, like I said, I won't go into Evelyn's fate just now, since that would be telling. Oh, and while you're most likely right about it, I don't see why the show would stay away from evil female characters just because of the whole cleavage issue. Hell, just look at Starfire in her mini-skirt and hooker boots. And Raven wandering around in what is effectively a long-sleeved bathing suit all the time (aside from the cloak of course)? Case closed, people. However, I'm pretty sure that even if the WB changes its policy on female supervillain cleavage, _this_ particular chapter still won't make it into the show. So, to recap: cleavage, maybe; nudity, definitely not.


	4. Ch 4: Phat Ride

(Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. No, really.)

_-CHAPTER FOUR: PHAT RIDE-_

"Aaauugh! Bored! So bored!"

Evelyn had already had enough mindless daytime TV to last a lifetime, and it had only been four days since she had come into existence. Drinking sugary soft drinks and teasing Beast Boy were still good, but they had run out of Mountain Dew just that morning, and Beast Boy was becoming more and more difficult to corner—she had jumped on his back and demanded a piggyback ride earlier, but he had just screamed, morphed into a cheetah, and darted out from under her, dumping her unceremoniously onto the floor. Evelyn had caught Raven stifling a laugh at that turn of events, and had gone to sulk in front of the TV. That was only two hours ago, and she had already gotten tired of yelling at the people on the screen who wanted to "talk to Frank one last time".

"No! He's a phony! A fake! A charlatan! Not a real medium! But _I_ can help you talk to Frank for as long as you want! Stabbity, stabbity!" Evelyn yelled, but her heart wasn't really in it. She needed something else to focus her attention on, and fortunately for her, Robin entered the room just as she was casting about for something to do.

Evelyn hung her head upside-down over the back of the sofa, watching Robin as he got himself a bottle of water out of the fridge. He was sweating, and had obviously just been working out, or training, or something. He was ignoring her, so Evelyn decided to get his attention.

"Hey, _Roooooobiiiiiiin!_" she yelled, still hanging her head upside-down. She heard Robin sigh from the kitchen.

"Yes, Evelyn, what is it?" he asked.

"There's nothing to _doooooooo_," Evelyn whined.

"That's funny. I manage to keep _myself_ busy somehow," Robin said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Evelyn snorted.

"Oh, yeah, sure, but _you_ have Starfire to schtupp. I can't even get Beast Boy to give me a _piggyback ride_," she said. Robin stared at her thoughtfully for a moment.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that," he said, finally, and turned to leave.

"_Craaaaaaap!_" Evelyn yelled, frustrated. Robin stopped in the doorway.

"You know, if you want something to do, you'll have to go _find_ something to do. There's plenty to do if you just look," he said, and then stepped out into the hallway, letting the door hiss shut behind him. Evelyn stared at the ceiling and frowned thoughtfully.

"Go look for something to do, eh?" she mused aloud. "Hmmmm…"

Suddenly, inspiration struck her. She jolted to her feet and struck a heroic pose.

"Aha! I have it!" Evelyn shouted. "I shall go once again to the mall!"

**OOO**

"Hey, Beast Boy, do you want to go to the…"

"AAAAAAUUUGGH! She's come for me!" Beast Boy screamed, and ran down the hall, skidding around a corner and narrowly missing a collision with a ficus plant.

"Crap."

**OOO**

"Hey, Starfire, do you want to go to the mall?" Evelyn asked, standing at the threshold to the alien girl's absurdly pink room.

"Oh, I am most sorry, Acquaintance Evelyn, but right now Robin is teaching me some of the do of ju, so as to improve my effectiveness in battle," Starfire said, pointing over her shoulder at where Robin was sitting on her bed. He was trying to ignore the pile of stuffed animals that all seemed to be staring at him.

"What? Why would you do that in your bedroom instead of the training room?" Evelyn asked in confusion. "Wait a minute…"

Her eyes widened as a realization struck her, and she pointed an accusing finger at Robin.

"Aha! I knew it! Schtupping!" Evelyn yelled, and then she ran off down the hall.

When she had gone, Starfire turned to Robin, her curiosity evident on her face.

"Friend Robin, what is this 'schtupping' of which Acquaintance Evelyn spoke?" she asked. Robin sighed.

"You really don't want to know, Starfire. Trust me," he said.

**OOO**

"Hey, Raven, are you in there?" Evelyn asked as she knocked on Raven's door. Raven opened the door a crack and glared at her evil double.

"What do you want?" she growled. Evelyn opened her mouth to ask her if she wanted to go to the mall with her, but paused and thought for a second.

"Wait, what am I _doing?_" she said to herself. Raven cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Ahh, never mind. It was nothing," Evelyn said. Raven closed her door without another word.

_Phew, that was close,_ Evelyn thought. _What the hell was I thinking? Asking Raven to go to the mall with me? Am I crazy? Well, more than normal, I mean. Meh, whatever._

**OOO**

"Hey, Cyborg, will you drive me to the…"

"No. I'm busy."

"Dammit!" Evelyn yelled as Cyborg closed his door in her face. "_Now_ how the hell am I supposed to get to the freakin' mall?"

Evelyn wandered the halls of Titans Tower, sulking.

_Stupid Titans, not wanting to take me to the mall,_ she thought._ I really wanted to get some CDs. The music selection in this big dumb T sucks. I even managed to hang on to one of the Titans' credit cards from last time we were at the mall, too._

Evelyn's reverie was rudely interrupted when she found herself out of hallway to wander, having walked down a dead end. She looked at the door that stood at the end of the hall—it was labelled "Garage".

_Hmmmm…the garage, eh? Let's see…garage equals vehicles, vehicles equals T-Car, and T-Car equals…mall! Sweet!_

Evelyn grinned widely and stepped up to the door, expecting it to open automatically like most of the other doors in the tower, but it did not. She frowned.

"Come on, you stupid door! Open!" she said. Several small lights blinked on a panel mounted next to the door.

"Voice code identification required for entry," said a computerized voice.

"Uhh…Raven?" Evelyn said.

"Analysing. Match. Voice code accepted. Have a nice day," said the voice, and the door hissed open.

Evelyn gleefully entered the garage, thanking heaven, hell, and whoever else might be listening that her voice was exactly the same as Raven's, and headed straight for the T-Car.

"Okay, that's phase one over with," she muttered to herself. "Now, I just have to hope that the tin man left the keys in the ignition and…aha!"

Cyborg had indeed left the keys in the ignition. Evelyn grinned evilly.

"Oh, baby! Mall, here I come!" she said, hopping into the T-Car and turning the key. The engine rumbled to life, and Evelyn giggled maniacally in anticipation.

"Awesome! Now, which one is the gas pedal?"

**OOO**

After a few false starts, Evelyn eventually got the hang of driving. She wasn't all that great at following the rules of the road, but then her only experience with driving had come as a passenger of Cyborg's, so that might be excused. Of course, being the incarnation of Raven's dark side, it was highly unlikely that Evelyn would have bothered obeying traffic laws even if she _was_ aware of their existence, but never mind that for now. Three run red lights, two trips down one-way streets going the wrong way, and five near misses with other cars later, Evelyn found herself at the mall.

_Ahh, glorious, glorious capitalism!_ she thought, standing triumphantly in the food court holding her "acquired" credit card to her chest like it was some kind of magic talisman. _What beautiful music we can make! And speaking of music…_

Evelyn skipped into the nearby HMV, drawing stares from several bystanders, but she ignored them and immediately began searching for the CDs she had come for.

_Right, so that's Kasabian, Hot Fuss by the Killers, Brothers and Sisters Are You Ready by Big Sugar, Elephant by the White Stripes, Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age, the Clash's Greatest Hits—anything else?_ Evelyn thought, grabbing each CD in turn. _Ooooh, the Whipped soundtrack…that gives me an idea…_

Having found what she was looking for, Evelyn made her way to the checkout. A rather preppy looking blonde was working the cash.

"Hi, did you, like, find everything you were looking for?" the cashier asked.

"Actually, no," Evelyn said.

"Oh, well, can I, like, help you find something?"

"Sure. I'm looking for the Fountain of Youth, the meaning of life, a round square, Pegasus, the Arc of the Covenant, and William Shatner's dignity," Evelyn said. "I'd also like some candy and a balloon, preferably helium." The cashier just gawked.

"It doesn't matter what colour the balloon is, if that makes things any easier," Evelyn added.

"Um…I don't think we have any of those things in stock…" the confused girl said. Evelyn shrugged.

"Well, then I guess I'll just go with these CDs, then," she said, brandishing the credit card.

"Oh. Okay," the cashier said, and did her best to get Evelyn out of the store as quickly as possible.

**OOO**

Aside from the CDs, Evelyn actually had relatively little in mind to do at the mall. Apparently she had inherited Raven's views on buying superfluous outfits, if not her particular taste in fashion, for she had decided that she didn't need any more clothes. Besides, her money, or rather the Titans' money, was much better spent on three cases of Mountain Dew, a five-pound bag of Peeps ("Always in season!"), and the largest bunch of helium balloons she could find. Between the sugar, loud music, and helium-induced falsetto, Evelyn was having the time of her life—driving over a hundred miles an hour in crowded downtown Jump City traffic was only icing on the cake. She giggled like a maniac and sang along to the music in her high-pitched helium voice.

"We get some rules to follow, that and this, these and those…no one knows! We get these pills to swallow, how they stick in your throat…tastes like gold! Oh, what you do to me, no one knows!"

Suddenly, in the rear-view mirror Evelyn saw a flash of blue and red lights.

"Crap! It's the fuzz!" she cried. "Okay, Evelyn, stay calm—remember what Cyborg said when we went to the mall before. I'll just say I'm on my way to beat up some villain or something. That's the ticket!"

Evelyn pulled over to the side of the road, and the cop got out of his cruiser and made his way up to look through Evelyn's window. Evelyn rolled it down and tried to grin disarmingly. The officer looked startled for a moment that he was dealing with a purple-haired teenaged girl with four glowing red eyes, but he quickly adapted to this strange situation—he was a Jump City boy, and being able to deal with the odd and unexpected was one of the side benefits to growing up there.

"Excuse me, miss, but do you have any idea how fast you were driving back there?" the cop said.

"Pardon?" Evelyn asked.

"_I said do you have any idea how fast you were_…could you please turn the music down?" the cop said, struggling to be heard over Evelyn's music, which was still set to "Eardrums Bleed Now" volume. Call Cyborg what you will, but he was certainly honest when it came to labelling his creations.

"_What?_" Evelyn asked. "_Hang on, I'll turn down the music!_" The cop sighed and continued once the music was brought down to a reasonable level. (Incidentally, this setting was labelled "Turn It Up, Wussy!")

"I was asking you if you have any idea how fast you were driving back there," he said.

"It's okay, officer, I'm a Teen Titan, on my way to apprehend a supervillain," Evelyn replied. Her last shot of helium hadn't quite worn off, though, and the slight falsetto edge to her voice kind of put a damper on the dramatic effect she was trying to create. The cop cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Uh huh," he said, glancing over the cases of Mountain Dew, the huge bag of candy, and the brightly coloured balloons that filled the T-Car. "Well, this certainly looks like the Titans' car, but frankly I'm having doubts about _you_."

"Are you suggesting that I stole this car?"

"_Did_ you?"

Evelyn glared at the police officer for a moment, then grabbed one of the many balloons, untied the end, and sucked back a good dose of helium.

"You can't arrest me, officer!" she cried, her helium voice back in full effect. "I represent the lollipop guild!"

"Please step out of the car, miss," the cop said.

"I smell bacon, I smell pork, run, run piggy, I have a fork!"

The cop backed a few feet away from Evelyn's window and pulled his gun.

"Miss, please step out of the car, _now!_" he shouted.

"You'll never take me alive, copper! _Aahahahahahaaaa!_" Evelyn shouted back, and slammed her foot down onto the pedal.

The only problem was that it was the brake pedal.

Evelyn looked down at her foot in confusion, then turned back to the cop and laughed nervously.

"Heh, heh. Just give me a minute here," she said, then turned her attention back to her feet. "I could have sworn that I had this figured out…okay, so the _skinny_ one is the gas…"

She slammed her foot down onto the correct pedal this time, and sped off, laughing like a maniac and leaving one very bemused police officer behind. He walked back to his cruiser and got on the radio.

"Dispatch, this is car twenty-three. I think I'll be needing back-up," he said, then added: "Oh, and you might want to tell the Titans that somebody's stolen their ride."

**OOO**

"One, take control of me, you're messin' with the enemy, said it's two, it's another trick, messin' with my mind I wake up, chase down an empty street, blindly snap the broken beats, said it's gone with the dirty trick, it's taken all these days to find you, aah ah-ah-ah ah aah! I tell you I want you! Aah ah-ah-ah ah aah! I tell you I need you!"

Evelyn was singing along to her music again. The situation was a little different than before, however, because now she had nearly a dozen police cars chasing after her. Under the skilful direction of Cyborg, the T-Car would have easily been able to outrun and outmanoeuvre even twice that many police cars, but Evelyn was barely even a novice driver, and she quickly found herself boxed in by white and blue police cruisers. When the one in front of her put on its brakes, Evelyn was forced to slow down as well—this was not because of anything to do with some sense of civic duty, as Evelyn didn't actually have one, but rather it was her survival instincts that wished to avoid a collision. Civic duty or not, broken bones are broken bones, she reasoned, especially when they were _her_ bones that were broken. Eventually she was at a complete stop, and police officers surrounded the T-Car with their guns drawn.

"Wait! Don't hurt my baby!"

The cops looked up to see Cyborg, carried by Starfire, arrive on the scene, followed closely by Robin on his R-Cycle and finally Raven, materializing from inside her glowing black astral form.

"Wait, the girl in there is your _daughter?_" one of the cops, a lieutenant, asked.

"What? No, man, I mean the _car_," Cyborg said. "Do whatever you want to the little bitch inside."

"Hey! I heard that!" Evelyn yelled.

"Oh, you are _so_ dead when I get my hands on you!" Cyborg yelled back, shaking his fist.

"You mean _if_ you get your hands on me! Eat my dust!" Evelyn shouted, and pressed down the gas—her survival instincts were now much more preoccupied with avoiding being caught by the Titans, so it wasn't worrying about smashing into police cruisers any more. Nothing happened, though, and Evelyn stared at her feet as she had done several times in the last few hours.

_What? The skinny one is the gas, right?_ she thought. _Then why isn't this thing…_

She paused and looked around. The frame of the car was coated in an inky darkness, and Evelyn turned to see Raven standing a few feet away, her eyes glowing white.

"Get. Out. Of. The. Car," she growled through clenched teeth. "_Now_."

Evelyn gulped nervously, knowing she was caught. She opened the car door and swung her legs out, resting her feet on the pavement.

"Okay, you caught me," Evelyn said. "But how are you guys going to deal with…_a hostage situation!_"

She reached behind her and grabbed one of the many yellow marshmallow chicks from the immense bag sitting in the passenger seat. She held it up for everyone to see, and then held her other hand like a gun, placing her extended index finger at the unfortunate fake bird's temple.

"Everyone back off, or Mr. Peeps here gets it!" Evelyn shrieked—everyone present stared at her in disbelief. "I'll do it, I swear! Get me three million dollars, a chopper, and a large pepperoni pizza, now! Meet my demands or I'll execute one Peep every half hour, on the half hour!"

As Evelyn continued her tirade ("How many innocent marshmallows will it take, huh?"), she didn't notice that the Peep she was holding began to glow black until it was forcibly jerked out of her hand.

"Hey! What the…" Evelyn said, and stared at the small marshmallow bird as it floated in mid-air in front of her. "Uhhh…"

Suddenly, the yellow marshmallow was propelled through the air faster than the human eye could follow. It bounced off of Evelyn's forehead with a dull 'fwap', snapping her head back with the force of the impact and leaving a vaguely bird-shaped mark.

"Ow! Hey!" Evelyn whined. "Raven! I know that was you!"

Raven smirked, then encased Evelyn in a field of black energy and lifted her into the air.

"Cyborg, the T-Car's all yours. I'll take _her_ back to the tower," Raven said, and flew off with Evelyn in tow.

"Hey! At least let me take a Mountain Dew for the trip!" Evelyn shouted, but nobody was listening, especially not Raven.

**OOO**

"Is she totally insane?" Beast Boy cried. The Titans were holding an impromptu meeting to discuss what they were going to do with Evelyn, who had been locked in her room ever since their return to the tower.

"Gee, Beast Boy, let's see," Raven said, sarcasm noticeable even in her near perfect monotone. "She stole the T-Car to go to the mall and buy, amongst other things, silly little marshmallow birds. She then led the police on a sugar-crazed car chase, ending with her attempting to take one of the aforementioned marshmallow birds hostage. No, Beast Boy, she's perfectly sane."

"Oh," said Beast Boy, scratching his head. "'Cause, you know, she seems kind of crazy to…"

Raven interrupted him with a smack on the head.

"That was _sarcasm_, you dolt," she said. Robin sighed.

"Look, you guys can bicker all you want later," he said. "For now, we need to figure out what we're going to do with Evelyn."

"I say we stuff her in one of the holding cells and throw away the key!" Cyborg said. "She stole my baby, and now she must pay!"

"I am unsure that that is the proper course of action," Starfire said hesitantly. "The only reason she was able to get to the T-Car at all was because we had forgotten to change Friend Raven's access code to enter the garage. Besides, the T-Car is undamaged, correct?"

"Star's right. It was an oversight on our part, and nothing much came of it," Robin said. "Not to mention that none of this would have happened if I hadn't told her to go look for something to do. She probably would have just spent the entire day bored in front of the TV otherwise."

"You _can't_ be serious!" Cyborg cried. "You mean you're not going to punish her at all?"

"No, no, she _will_ be punished, just not locked up in a holding cell," Robin said. "I think a week locked just in her room should be enough."

"Wait, wait," Beast Boy said. "You're going to _ground_ her? What are you, her _dad?_"

"No, but she did break the rules, and as team leader it's kind of my responsibility to enforce those rules," Robin replied.

"It sounds like you've decided already," Raven said, and she turned to leave.

"You don't agree with my decision," Robin said. It wasn't a question. Raven sighed.

"Locking her in her room won't keep her out of trouble," she said. "She'll find some way out, or at the very least some way to cause problems without even leaving her room."

"Well, then we'll just have to add more time to her punishment if she does," Robin said.

"If you say so," Raven said with a shrug, and left to go back to her room. Robin stared after her, and ran a hand over his face, then turned back to the others.

"Okay, I'll go tell her what the deal is," he said. "We'll take turns bringing her meals and so on—we aren't going to let her starve or anything."

"Awww…" Cyborg complained, but he seemed to accept the decision.

The Titans went their separate ways, and Robin headed towards Evelyn's room. He opened the door, and saw Evelyn lying spread-eagled on her bed. She turned her head a little to look at him, but said nothing.

"Okay, Evelyn, you're going to be confined to your room for a week," Robin said, trying to be as matter-of-fact as possible. "We'll be bringing you your meals and so on, and we can bring you things if you ask for them, within reason, but you will not be allowed to leave your room."

"Lair," Evelyn said.

"What?"

"Not my room, my _lair_. We've been over this," Evelyn said.

"Oh, right, sure. Your lair," Robin said. "Anyway, if you cause any problems during the week, we'll add on more time to your confinement as we see fit. Is that clear?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Evelyn said, waving her hand vaguely.

"Is there anything you want for now?" Robin asked. Evelyn sat up.

"Could I have my balloons back?" she said. "Oh, and some of my Mountain Dew and Peeps?"

"Yeah, sure," Robin said with a sigh.

"Yay! Balloons and sugar!" Evelyn cried, pumping a fist in the air.

Robin shook his head and left the room/lair.

_This just keeps getting weirder and weirder,_ he thought.

_-END CHAPTER FOUR-_

**Author's Note:** Peeps are just weird, man. They kind of scare me. Not in a run-in-terror, fear-for-my-life kind of way, though, more in a vaguely-disturbing-concept way.

Anyway, what could Evelyn have meant by saying that the Whipped soundtrack gives her an idea? Might it have something to do with how it is getting harder to effectively bug Beast Boy? Would I have said that if it didn't?

Semi-interesting side note: Evelyn's preoccupation with Mountain Dew has raised a rather odd issue for me while writing this. There are certain differences in terminology between Canada and the United States, including what to call soft drinks. I usually call them "pop", as is (I think) the general practice in Canada (which is where I live). However, I know that Americans usually refer to them as "sodas". Reading this chapter (and the last couple of ones, too) carefully, you might notice that I haven't used either word at all to apply to soft drinks. If you don't want to reread them, which I don't blame you for something this small and superficial, just take my word for it. Anyway, I figure that the minor changes in spelling between Canadian and American English (mostly extra little Us here and there, like in "colour") probably won't be noticed too much, and if they are they will most likely be put down to me being yet another fan fiction author who can't spell worth a damn. However, if people don't know that "pop" is just another word for "soda", that might create confusion. I realize that this is excessively neurotic of me, especially to bring it up in an author's note like this, but I just found it kind of interesting that it bothered me that much, and I didn't really have much else to talk about here.

**To My Reviewers:**

Blackbird: Thanks. I sometimes worry about the whole PG-13 thing. I think that most of the time the whole censorship thing is just a little bit silly, so having to actually play by the rules can cause some concerns to arise. Oh, well. And the Moonites automatically make anything cooler. Those two episodes are about the only really good ones of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, if you ask me. Well, the mummy one was kind of funny, but most of them just made me want to go buy a milkshake just so I could kick it.

Ultimate R-Man: That's why I have Split rated as PG-13. Man, Reboot was my _life_ a few years ago. I used to have the Pirates of Penzance-esque finale song _memorized_. Good times.

Sorceress of Demon Otters: Yay for ass-whooping indeed. Where would Beast Boy be without regular beatdowns from Raven?

Mini Black Raven: No worries. As I said, I didn't mean to single anyone out.

Gespenst: Here is the next chapter, and there will most likely be at least two more, possibly three. Evelyn _is_ funny, but it might be a mistake to forget that she is also evil…MUWAHAHAHAHAAA! Ahem.


	5. Ch 5: More Disturbing Developments

(Disclaimer: Close your eyes and imagine that I said that I don't own the Teen Titans, but in a witty and amusing way. Keep them closed for a little while…a little longer…no, I'm not just trying to distract you while I go through your wallet—why do you ask?)

**Preliminary Author's Note:** Okay, some of the stuff in this chapter might be a bit risqué (you'll know it when you see it). While it may be pushing the boundaries of PG-13 a bit, I certainly do _not_ think it deserves to be rated R (see my ending note for why). If you think it _should_ be rated R, then please let me know and I will change it.

_-CHAPTER FIVE: MORE DISTURBING DEVELOPMENTS-_

"Hey, guys! I just thought of a great new game!" Beast Boy cried, inciting a chorus of groans from the other Titans.

"It's not anything like your snake tossing idea, is it?" Cyborg asked.

"You mean 'Dodgeviper'? No, no, this one is _way_ better!" Beast Boy said.

"Wow. _That's_ saying a lot," Raven said, not even bothering to look up from her book. Beast Boy glared at her, but continued anyway.

"So you get a donkey, right, and the goal is hit it with a stick _just_ hard enough for there to be decent contact, but not so hard that the donkey makes a noise in protest," Beast Boy said. "And guess what it's called!"

"Oh, dear God, _no_…" Raven muttered—as usual, she had been the first to work it out. It was one of her greatest shames that she seemed to understand Beast Boy's sicker jokes.

"I call it 'Tap That Ass!'" Beast Boy cried triumphantly. "Isn't that the greatest idea you've ever heard?"

"Beast Boy, I think that I can say, with the utmost certainty, that no, it is most definitely _not_ the greatest idea I have ever heard," Robin said. Beast Boy sagged a little.

"Oh, come _on_, guys!" he said. "I put a lot of thought into that!"

"Well, _you_ seem to be back to normal," Cyborg said. "You've been kind of jumpy for the last few days."

"Yes, I had thought that Acquaintance Evelyn had permanently damaged you with her nudity," Starfire chimed in from the kitchen, where she was steadfastly ruining yet another perfectly good pot. Raven glared at Beast Boy, remembering the incident, and he chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his head.

"Yeah, what can I say?" he said. "Her being locked up in her room these past few days has worked wonders for me."

"Oh, Beast Boy, that reminds me," Robin said, a small evil smile working its way onto his face. "It's your turn to bring Evelyn her lunch today." Beast Boy paled.

"What? No!" Beast Boy said, waving his hands in a vague display of denial. "Do you have any idea what she'll _do_ to me if she catches me?"

"What, will she flash you or something?" Cyborg said. "'Cause, you know, most guys wouldn't think of that as a bad thing. Ow!" Raven had used her powers to hit him over the head with a potted plant.

"Well, Beast Boy, we all agreed to take turns bringing Evelyn her meals and stuff, and today is _your_ turn," Robin said. "She didn't do anything to Cyborg, Starfire, or me, so I don't think you'll have anything to worry about."

"Oh, fine," Beast Boy muttered. "But you're paying for my funeral."

"You mean your wedding? Ow!" Cyborg said—a glowing black ceiling tile had fallen on his head. Raven didn't even look up from her book.

"Quit it, you guys," Robin said. "Beast Boy, her sandwich is in the fridge. Get going."

Beast Boy retrieved the sandwich and made his way to what he knew to be his certain doom, grumbling the whole time about crazy clones, overbearing masked doofuses, and, oddly enough, what sounded like the square root of pi if you plugged your ears a little bit and _really_ used your imagination. It was probably just muted swear words, though. Once he was gone, Cyborg turned to the others, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Have you ever noticed that his ideas for games usually involve minor cruelty to animals?" he asked. "What do you think _that_ means?"

"I don't know, Cyborg, but I have a funny feeling Freud would have a _field day_ with Beast Boy," Robin replied.

Raven snorted as she stifled a laugh, rapidly turning a page in an attempt to hide her amusement. Starfire hadn't been listening, and only cursed mildly in Tamaranian as her recipe ate through the bottom of her sixth pot in two days.

**OOO**

Beast Boy stepped gingerly into Evelyn's lair, being careful to close the door behind him, since he knew that Robin would go ballistic if he let her escape. The lights were dimmed, but not turned completely off, casting odd-looking half-shadows that seemed to flow and merge into each other. The only major source of light was a full-size standing lamp, set so that it illuminated the end of Evelyn's bed, where a neatly arranged row of rather stale Peeps sat, staring lifelessly at the door.

"Uhhh…Evelyn? Are you in here?" Beast Boy said, his voice quavering a little.

"Guys, now!" hissed Evelyn's voice from behind him, and he turned to see her standing several feet away with a broken piece of curtain rod held above her head as a makeshift club. She grinned and quickly tried to hide the curtain rod behind her back.

"What are you doing?" Beast Boy asked.

"Um, you weren't supposed to see that…" Evelyn said, then turned and began to berate the unfortunate Peeps on her bed. "You assholes! You didn't stick to the plan! You were supposed to distract him! _Idiots!_"

"Uhh…I'm standing _right here_, you know," Beast Boy said, but Evelyn ignored him.

"Dammit! Now I'll have to move on to Plan B!" she cried, tossing aside her curtain rod.

"I don't think Peeps really make very good henchmen…" Beast Boy began, but then paused and narrowed his eyes. "Hey, wait a minute! Plan B…?"

"Don't worry about it," Evelyn said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Just stay right there for a sec, would you?"

Beast Boy looked down at his feet. He was standing in a large red circle with an X through it drawn in red paint on the carpet. It was labelled "Beast Boy stands here", accompanied by a smiley face with four eyes that was sticking its tongue out at him.

"Ohhhh no," Beast Boy said, carefully stepping outside of the circle. "I'll stand over _here_, thank you very much. I don't feel like falling into this Plan B of yours." Evelyn just grinned, holding what looked like a string that hung down from the ceiling.

"Oh, okay then," she said. "Plan C it is, then."

Evelyn yanked on the string as hard as she could, and before Beast Boy could say anything, he felt pressure on the back of his head and everything went black.

**OOO**

"_Beeeaaaassst Boooooyy! Heeeeeyyy, Beeeeeeeaaaaassssst Boooooooyyyy!_"

Beast Boy groaned and opened his eyes. His head ached, and everything seemed out of focus. Ghostly lights danced around the edges of his vision, too, and that didn't help matters any.

_Ooog,_ he thought. _What happened? I was bringing Evelyn her lunch and then…oh, no…_

Beast Boy's eyes snapped fully open and he jerked his head up—he immediately regretted it. The dull ache bloomed into full-fledged pain, and his vision swam for a moment. As his eyes began to clear, he could make out a fuzzy but unmistakeably feminine blur standing in front of him.

"I wouldn't suggest doing that again. Your head might fall off or something," the blur said in Evelyn's voice. Sarcasm was apparent in her tone, but then her voice softened. "I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean for my little trap to hit you _quite_ that hard. Heh, heh. I'll have to make a mental note about that."

Beast Boy tried to say something, but found that he couldn't—his mouth was covered up with a strip of what felt suspiciously like duct tape. Beast Boy tried to move his arms and legs, and found that they were similarly restrained. Evelyn had taped him to a chair. He tried to transform, but his head just throbbed, and he only got part-way through the transformation before he reverted back to his human form. The blur that was Evelyn, which was steadily becoming less hazy, grinned.

"Can't transform, huh?" she said. "That's an added bonus. That was the only real hole in my scheme, to be honest, but I guess things worked out nicely."

_Great, so I'm stuck here, held captive in my own damn tower by a crazy evil clone of one of my teammates,_ Beast Boy thought. _What does she want me for?_

Even before Beast Boy's hazy, slightly concussed curiosity could fully develop, Evelyn revealed her plans for him, although not through a typical villain exposition speech. Rather, she revealed her plans by enacting them.

"Right! Phase one of Operation Green Jeans complete, so now on to phase two!" she cried. "Mood music! To the CD player!"

Evelyn rushed over to the boombox-style CD player sitting in the corner of her room and frantically began pressing buttons, muttering under her breath the whole time.

"Come on, come on…which track was it again? Oh, right…here we go!"

Evelyn hit the play button with as much drama as possible, and the room was filled with a heavy drum beat, alternating between the bass and the snare.

"_Now everybody, have you heard? If you're in the game, then the stroke's the word…"_

Short bursts of heavily distorted electric guitar started next, and Evelyn grinned. She began walking back towards Beast Boy, letting her hips swing to the beat. When she reached him, she leaned down to look him directly in the eye, still moving a little in time to the music. Beast Boy noticed that her otherwise plain black T-shirt said "Come on, you know you want to" on the front.

"_Put your right hand out, give a firm handshake. Talk to me about that one big break…"_

Beast Boy gulped nervously and Evelyn's grin widened. She straightened up and gripped the hem of her T-shirt, slowly working it up her body, always in time to the music. Soon she had lifted it to just under her breasts, holding it there for a second to tease him, but she quickly got tired of that and whipped the T-shirt off in one smooth motion, revealing her black bra.

"_Keep your contributions by your side, and…"_

Evelyn leaned down again to whisper in Beast Boy's ear.

"See? Female supervillains and cleavage—they just work together so _well_," she said, then straightened up again and turned around. Still moving in time to the music, she slipped her skirt off, leaving her wearing nothing but her black underwear. She turned back to face Beast Boy, a huge grin still on her face, and moved around to kneel behind him. He could feel her body pressing against him through the open back of the chair, and gulped nervously again.

"_Put your left foot out, keep it all in place, work your way right into my case…"_

Evelyn nibbled a little on his earlobe, but Beast Boy just stared straight ahead. He had lost track of when he had stopped breathing, but it was beginning to become a problem. His mind was filled with conflicting images of Evelyn in her underwear, then Raven hitting him with something, then _Raven_ in her underwear…

_OhshitohshitohSHITohshitohshit,_ Beast Boy thought.

"_But when you find you bled me, skip on by…"_

"Come on, Beebs, relax," Evelyn whispered in his ear, barely audible over the music. "Why are you only ever so uptight around me?"

"_Stroke me, stroke me…"_

"You _are_ attracted to me, right?" Evelyn said. "I know you are, because I look just like Raven and you're attracted to _her_—she doesn't acknowledge it, but deep down she knows that, and since I'm from deep down inside her too, well…"

"_Give me the business all night long…"_

Evelyn changed positions again, so now she was sitting in front of Beast Boy staring directly into his eyes.

"Is it the eyes?" she asked, batting her four eyelids for demonstration. "That's it, isn't it?"

Beast Boy gulped but said nothing.

"_You're so together, boy…"_

"They make me look inhuman, don't they?" Evelyn continued, with a rueful grin. "Then, because I look like Rae, they kind of make _her_ look inhuman."

Evelyn leaned closer to Beast Boy to whisper directly into his ear again. He couldn't see it, but a wolfish smile spread across her face.

"Well guess what, kiddo—she _is_ inhuman," she hissed. "She's a half-demon. Get used to it!"

"…_man, you're just a sinner now…"_

Evelyn pulled away from Beast Boy for a moment, letting him process her words, and then suddenly tore off the tape covering his mouth. Before Beast Boy could yelp in pain she leaned back in, planting a kiss firmly on his lips. He whimpered a little, the images of Raven hurting him that were running through his head abruptly becoming more graphic, but Evelyn ignored him, letting her tongue play across his bottom lip.

"Stop that_ NOW!_" said a voice, cutting through the loud music like it was nothing.

Evelyn's eyes widened in surprise and she turned her head to look towards the source of the voice. Raven was standing in the doorway, a look of pure, unadulterated fury on her face. An aura of glowing black energy jumped and crackled around her, discharging randomly and destroying whatever it touched—a particularly large discharge caused a visible crack in the doorframe, which had been made out of the same specially-designed steel alloy as the rest of the tower.

"Oh, hi Rae, how are…" Evelyn began, but Raven cut her off, using her powers to slam her against the nearest wall and hold her there, two feet off the ground.

"_Better listen now, said it ain't no joke, let your conscience fail ya, just do the…"_

With a snarl, Raven whirled and sent an almost completely uncontrolled surge of power towards the CD player, blasting it apart like it had been struck by an atomic bomb and cutting off the music in mid-verse. She turned back to glare at Evelyn.

"Um…" Beast Boy said, lamely, but Raven didn't look at him. Instead, a tendril of black energy extended from her body and severed his duct tape bonds like they were tissue paper.

"Beast Boy, go back downstairs," Raven said, still not turning to look at him. "Evelyn and I need to have a little _chat_."

"Uhhh…just so you know, I didn't…" Beast Boy began, but when Raven finally did turn to look at him he was stopped instantly by the expression on her face.

"I said _GO!_" she shouted, and Beast Boy scrambled for the door. Once he was gone, Raven turned back to Evelyn, who she still held firmly against the wall, hanging about two feet off the ground. Raven had expected her to struggle, or at least be angry, but Evelyn showed no signs of resistance—rather, she just smirked silently at her. This was the last straw for Raven.

"What the _hell_ were you _doing?_ Taping Beast Boy up so you could, what, _seduce_ him?" she yelled. "What is _wrong_ with you? Now everyone is going to think that _I_…_uurgh!_"

"Gee, Rae, you seem pretty angry," Evelyn said with a smug smile. "Isn't that _my_ job?"

This stopped Raven in mid-rant, and she stared at Evelyn in surprise.

"What are you talking about?" Raven asked cautiously.

"Your anger, Raven," Evelyn said, as sweetly and innocently as she could manage. "Didn't you transfer it into me?" Raven was speechless, and Evelyn continued.

"But if it's in me, you shouldn't be getting angry anymore, right?" she said.

"The…the spell didn't work?" Raven asked, her uncertainty showing clearly. "No, no, I was _sure_ that it…"

"Oh, the spell _did_ work, Rae," Evelyn said. "It transferred all of the representations of your dark emotions, your dark avatars if you will, into me perfectly. It's just that you don't understand how those avatars, or _any_ of your other emotion representations really work."

"What? But my meditation…"

"Oh, yes, you go through your head every now and then to make sure they aren't getting into trouble, but have you ever really stopped to figure out how they work?" Evelyn said, with a small chuckle. "No, of course not. I'm essentially _made_ out of a bunch of them, so _I_ know how they work, but _you_ just recite your spells, do your meditation, and satisfy yourself with the fact that everything seems to be working okay."

"So, are you going to tell me how they work, know-it-all?" Raven said, glaring at her. Evelyn chuckled again before continuing.

"Of course. Your avatars are splinter personalities created in your mind from the raw psychic energy, in the Freudian sense, that is created by each of your emotions. The stronger emotions, like anger, get their own avatar, while the secondary emotions like laziness and rudeness aren't strong enough, so they have to combine together to form mixed avatars."

"Yes, I _know_ all that," Raven said, irritably. "Get to your point already."

"As I said, these avatars are made up of the raw psychic energy created by your emotions, and they exist as harmless abstract outlets for those emotions," Evelyn said. "Basically, they get to act out in your head so that you don't have to in the real world, since that would cause your powers to go berserk. But, are your avatars the _source_ of your emotions?"

Raven opened her mouth to say something sarcastic, but paused and furrowed her brow in thought. Evelyn smiled knowingly.

"Yes, you see it now, don't you?" she said. "That spell of yours transferred all the psychic energy stored up in your dark avatars to me, but it didn't transfer your ability to _feel_ those emotions. You've spent the last week or so restocking your supplies of anger, so to speak, and I bet that now, if you were to go into your head, you'd see the beginnings of a totally new anger avatar, as well as ones for your other dark emotions. In a few more days, you'll be right back at square one."

"But the spell _can_ still purge my system, right?" Raven asked dazedly. She was in a bit of a state of shock.

"Well, yeah, but it will just create more evil clones of you to make your life difficult," Evelyn said. "Unless you kill us, of course, but that would violate your precious moral code, wouldn't it?"

"I suggested killing you when you first came into existence, remember?" Raven said, but she didn't sound certain. Evelyn snorted derisively.

"Sure, but you didn't _mean_ it," she said. "You act all dark and stuff, but you're still one of the good guys at heart. You _can't_ kill me."

"So then the spell only…" Raven began, but Evelyn interrupted her.

"It only made a completely evil version of yourself, and left you with no benefit in the long run," she said, and smiled. "Things _did_ work out nicely, didn't they? Can you put me down now?"

Raven sagged and began to release her telekinetic hold on Evelyn, but then a thought struck her. She straightened back up and pointed an accusatory finger at her evil twin.

"Aha! But you're going after Beast Boy!" Raven said. "Love is _not_ a dark emotion, so you _can't_ be completely evil! If _I'm_ becoming darker again, then it looks like _you're_ getting lighter!" Raven grinned triumphantly, but Evelyn only laughed, causing Raven to frown perplexedly.

"Oh, Rae, you silly girl! First off, you're not _becoming_ darker again, you never _were_ any less dark than usual since your ability to feel your dark emotions was never gone," Evelyn said. "Second, the reason I'm going after Beast Boy is _not_ love, it's _lust_. I _did_ say that that particular emotion was a part of me. Now let me down already. Your telekinesis is chafing me."

Raven sagged again, for good this time, and let go of Evelyn. As she dropped to the floor, Evelyn gave a small chuckle.

"By the way, nice admission to loving Beast Boy," she said with a smirk. Raven's eyes widened.

"What? No! I never…I just said that _you_ loving Beast Boy wasn't…" Raven stammered, but Evelyn interrupted her.

"Yeah, yeah," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "I know it's just a mild attraction. I was a _part_ of you, remember? Geez, you're easy to mess with, you know that? Now get out of my room—I still have to eat my sandwich and I'd like a little peace and quiet."

Raven glared at Evelyn for a moment before turning to leave the room. She stopped in the doorway and glanced back over her shoulder.

"I'm going to make sure you get at _least_ another week added on to your confinement for this," Raven said with obvious malice.

"Shoo! Eating now!" Evelyn said from around a mouthful of sandwich. Raven glared at her for another moment and then left the room, closing the door behind her and leaving Evelyn chewing in the gloomy darkness of her room.

"Mmmm…turkey…"

_-END CHAPTER FIVE-_

**Author's Note:** Oh, so _that's_ what it meant that the Whipped soundtrack gave Evelyn an idea (note: The Stroke by Billy Squier, which is the song that Evelyn plays, is on the Whipped soundtrack).

Anyway, I think it's pretty obvious what parts are the ones that might push this chapter a little closer to being rated R (Evelyn's parts, actually—ooh, bad joke). However, as I said before, while this chapter is definitely deeper into the jungle that is PG-13 than some of my past chapters, I do _not_ think that it goes so far that it needs to be rated R. There are no particularly vulgar swear words, there is very little violence and absolutely _no_ blood, and while there is a bit of a semi-striptease, there is _no_ nudity (where I said Evelyn was just in her underwear, I am classing bras as "underwear"—for comparison, I would also class boys' undershirts as underwear). Some people might say that Evelyn's suggestive behaviour is enough to make it R rated, but I would call those people prudes.

That said, this is not my website, and if the FanFiction admins (or whatever they might call themselves) think that this should be rated R, I will be more than happy to submit to that. It's not like it actually _means_ anything anyway, since there are no barriers keeping kids away from stories rated R—a bright five-year-old (or even a dumb one) could find his way onto a rated R story. I feel that it must also be noted that a bright five-year-old can also find his way onto sites that would warrant a much _higher_ rating, the internet being what it is. Viewed in that light, this chapter doesn't seem so bad, does it?

This was actually one of the scenes that I had planned out in my head long before I started writing Split. Some of the details like trying to distract Beast Boy with Peeps are new, added at the spur of the moment to connect this chapter with past ones, but the basic idea of Evelyn "kidnapping" Beast Boy and doing the little striptease to The Stroke was around before I started writing this chapter. Actually, I've always kind of connected the song to some kind of strip club scene—maybe I've heard it in that context in a movie somewhere along the line. I just kind of applied that to the basic idea of Split, and voila!

Right, so there was quite a bit less of the funny and more of the drama this time around (as well as some rather unfortunate exposition—sorry folks, but I could see no way around it). That's kind of where this will be headed from now on. Next chapter, for instance, everything will go to hell. So, yeah, tune in next time!

**To My Reviewers:**

Ultimate R-Man: I never got into DBZ, since there's only so much screaming-while-building-up-power-for-the-super-mega-death-attack-for-five-episodes that I can handle before I have to hunt down Akira Toriyama and end the madness. That reminds me—did anyone else notice the Akira (the movie, not Mr. Toriyama) reference in "Employee of the Month"?

ravenrocs4eva: Well, Raven still hasn't fully dealt with Evelyn, but next chapter might see the end of things. I don't want to give away the story, though. And as for your evil monkeys, can they defeat my cadre of snow-hating ninjas? As much as I hate to perpetuate the myth that Canada is just a frozen wasteland where it snows all the time, I do kind of live in the snow belt (which includes some of the northern States, too, actually), and I do kind of get tired of the white shit. Thus, the snow-hating ninjas. Evil monkeys beware!

CrAzY aUtHoR pErSoN: Yes, I think Peeps might be in league with the devil or something. Yet, for all their evil, they _still_ make crappy henchmen. Ronald McDonald might do better, but there's only one of him, so you'd have to make clones or something, and that's just a pain in the ass.

palekel: Did you want to be Beast Boy in _this_ chapter, too? Aside from the getting hit on the head from behind, of course.

Soni2: I'm glad you like this story so far. I hope that going for the drama doesn't kill it for you. You're right on about the spells not doing what Raven intended, as you can see from this chapter. Next chapter, things will go even _more_ wrong. (Oh, suspense! Eeee!)

Gespenst: How's this for Evelyn annoying and manipulating Beast Boy?

Blackbird: Evelyn's evil will be showing up next chapter, for sure. I had thought it might make it into this one, but she still just looks crazy. And horny. Oh, well. And I completely get the linguistics stuff. I've even seen stuff online with maps of the States showing which regions used what words for things (from an American study, of course, so it didn't show Canada—I feel so neglected).


	6. Ch 6: Breakdown

(Disclaimer: Prithy, sirra, but ne'er have I owned the Teen Titans, and alas, but I fear that nary shall I ever.)

_-CHAPTER SIX: BREAKDOWN-_

The Titans were having a team meeting, and for once it wasn't Robin who had called for it. To everyone's surprise, it was Raven who called the meeting, and curiosity, just as much as a sense of duty to the team, caused the other Titans to all come even though it wasn't _technically_ an official team meeting.

The Titans were now all sitting around the kitchen table, staring questioningly at Raven, who had been completely silent as they had settled into their seats. Raven steeled herself to reveal her mistake to the team, and stood up.

"As you guys have probably already figured out, this is about Evelyn," she began. Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire all nodded. Beast Boy's ears drooped a little, and he grinned nervously—he hadn't figured it out.

"Something she said to me recently made it clear that I didn't fully understand what the spells that created her actually did," Raven continued. "So I've been doing some reading, and I've come across something…_disturbing_."

"Like what?" Cyborg asked. Raven sighed.

"Not only has Evelyn's creation _not_ cleansed my dark emotions from me, but the spells are unstable," she said. "Eventually they will completely unravel and she will cease to exist, but…"

Raven hesitated, but Robin filled in the blank for her.

"But the spell holding her powers in check will fade out first, I presume," he said darkly. Raven sighed again.

"Most likely, yes," she said.

"And then we'll have a psychotic, full-power version of you on our hands," Robin said.

"It's worse than that," Raven said. "Because I don't want to lose control I place restrictions on my power. Evelyn will not. She doesn't care about control."

"Wait, so she's going to be even _more_ powerful than Raven?" Beast Boy asked incredulously. "Raven's already one of the most powerful on the team! Next to me, of course."

"I do not think that now is the time for jokes, Friend Beast Boy," Starfire said. "We might be facing a very powerful adversary very soon." Robin put his head in his hands.

"No, no, it's even worse than _that_," he muttered, almost to himself. "It's not just that she'll be more powerful than Raven. She'll also know us just as well as Raven does, so she'll be able to predict our movements. And we probably won't be able to predict hers, since she's _also_ totally insane. I know how dangerous insanity can be…" Robin shuddered.

"How will we be able to defeat such a foe?" asked Starfire, worry showing clearly on her face.

"We might not actually have to defeat her," Raven said. "The only good news is that the more she uses her power, the more she'll destabilize the spell that holds her physical form together. If we can delay her long enough she'll eventually just fade away."

"Okay, so that's a plan at least. But aren't we getting ahead of ourselves here?" Cyborg said. "I mean, all this only becomes a problem _after_ she gets access to her powers, right? If we can get to her before that happens, maybe we can figure out a way to contain her, or beef up the spells a little so her powers will _stay_ turned off."

"That's true," Robin said, looking up from his hands. "Raven, about how long do we have?"

"Well, the nature of magic makes that virtually impossible to determine exactly," Raven said. "It could be a matter of weeks, a matter of days…"

Suddenly, the whole tower shook with what sounded like an explosion. The Titans leapt from their seats.

"…Or she could break free right now, I guess," Beast Boy said.

"Shit! Titans, move!" Robin shouted.

**OOO**

The Titans skidded around the last corner before Evelyn's room, Robin in the lead, only to find that the door had been blown outward into the hallway, along with much of the wall surrounding it. Evelyn stood at the threshold between the wreckage that was her room and the wreckage that the hallway was rapidly becoming as her newly released powers sparked and earthed themselves seemingly at random like black lightning, destroying everything they touched. She was laughing, apparently quite amused by the damage she was causing.

"Hey, you guys are late!" Evelyn shouted when she saw the Titans preparing themselves to attack. "The dust's already settled from when I busted down my door!"

"What?" Robin said as he covertly drew a freeze disc from his belt.

"You should have shown up immediately, through some kind of plot-induced teleportation or something!" Evelyn continued. "It would have been much more dramatic."

"What the hell are you…" Robin began, but Evelyn interrupted him.

"I mean, I even got all dressed up for my big villain appearance—I _knew_ I'd be needing this outfit!" she said, indicating her attire. It was her 'female supervillain' outfit: tight black pleather pants, black platform shoes, and a black bustier that had been very carefully laced up so that it showed a significant amount of the ever-important cleavage, as well as some of Evelyn's stomach. It was topped off with a black and silver choker necklace.

"It _does_ go a little heavy on the black, but it is, after all, _the_ supervillain colour," Evelyn said, seeming quite proud of herself. "Oh, and I hope you don't mind if I redecorate a little, Rae."

"Redecorate?" Raven asked. "What are you on about?"

Evelyn didn't answer her question, at least not verbally. Instead, she closed her eyes tightly and concentrated for a moment, and her raging powers focussed briefly on her own body. When they were done, Evelyn had changed—while her basic physique was still the same, her hair was now shorter and spikier, with streaks of black running alongside the customary purple, and swirling black tattoos ran down the full length of her arms, extending onto her shoulders and centred around a stylized raven design on her chest which was visible just above the top of her bustier, as well as between its lacing down the front. If anything, the stark contrast between her skin and the tattoos made her seem even paler. Raven gaped, while Evelyn casually inspected her handiwork.

"Heh, heh. Pretty good, if I do say so myself," Evelyn said with a grin, then looked up at Raven again. "No offence, Rae, but I figured I could use some sprucing up, what with me being pure evil and all. Besides, we don't want any of my hapless victims thinking I'm you, now do we?"

"I…whu…Wh-what did you just _do_?" Raven stuttered. Evelyn chuckled.

"I'm _made_ of magic, remember? I can change my look around as much as I want. Oh, and I'm not done yet, babe," she said. "As much as I love the whole inhuman look, I think I'll have to leave the daddy eyes behind—I want to be my own girl, y'know."

Evelyn closed her eyes tightly and concentrated again. This time, when she reopened them, her four glowing red eyes had collapsed into a single pair, which made her look even more like Raven, even despite the other changes she had made—this fact was not lost on the Titans.

"Oh, oh! I have the perfect finishing touch!" Evelyn cried, and concentrated briefly for a third time, causing a pair of slightly curved marks to appear on her face, one at the outside corner of each eye. They were facial tattoos. Raven's eyes nearly bugged out of her head.

"Ha! The Crow, anyone? Not quite the Goth clown makeup, but close enough, right?" Evelyn said, and chuckled to herself. "Seriously though, Rae, you've got to get yourself some ink, girl. This looks awesome!" She pirouetted inexpertly to show off her handiwork.

"Stop screwing around with my body!" Raven yelled. "You still look like me! People will still think you're me, and that I've finally totally lost it!"

"_Finally_ lost it?" Evelyn asked, stopping in mid-twirl and grinning wolfishly. "Is that an admission, Rae? Are you a Goth on the edge?"

"What? No! I just…" Raven stammered, her fists clenched in frustration and anger, but Evelyn interrupted her.

"Don't try to deny it, Rae, I came from inside your head so I know exactly how maladjusted and neurotic you really are," she said. "But don't you worry your pretty little head about that—I won't tell anyone. I'll also make sure I let everyone know that I'm not you, although I don't know how much good that will do when I'm going to be killing them pretty much immediately after that."

"Don't you dare," Raven growled, her voice barely more than an angry whisper. "I swear I'm not going to let you hurt anyone."

"You swear, do you? You swear to whom, or on what?" Evelyn sneered. "What decent holy thing would tolerate _you_ swearing by it, eh, you dirty little half-blood rape child?"

"_Shut up!_" Raven screamed, finally losing control and using her powers to hurl a large chunk of the debris that now littered the hallway at Evelyn. Evelyn grinned and casually held up a hand, and the huge lump of twisted metal and concrete stopped dead in mid-air before dropping to the floor with a loud thunk.

"Ooh, that was _naughty_, Rae," Evelyn said, waggling her finger like a mother scolding her child. "I didn't even tell you about how I was going to destroy the city yet! Lucky for you, it's pretty simple—I'm just going to float my little self over there and wreck up the place with my magical half-demon telekinesis of doom! It's going to be fun!"

"Now hang on a second, Evelyn," Robin said, stepping in front of Raven to try to keep her from losing it again—she was still shaking with anger. "Raven told us that the more you use your powers, the faster the spell that holds you together will destabilize—not only will destroying the city mean that you'll die as well, but since you'll have to go through us first you might not even _get_ to the city before you disappear."

"Let me guess: you're going to suggest that I calm down and surrender so I can stretch out what time I have left, right?" Evelyn said, a smirk on her face. "Fat chance, Christmas boy. I'm going to be kicking off anyway, and I'd much rather go out with a bang than with a whimper. This is the way the world ends, kiddies!" Evelyn's smirk slowly widened into a malicious smile.

"And besides," she said, "nothing could be more fun than 'going through' you lot. You've had it easy so far, I've only pulled a few simple pranks because I knew I wouldn't have stood a chance against you without my powers. But now that I've got them back, you idiots can't push me around anymore—I can do whatever I want, and what I want most is all of you _dead_!"

"Oh, please," Beast Boy said, stepping forward and waving his hand dismissively. "This from the girl whose biggest prank was a striptease?"

"Uh…Beast Boy? That might not be a good idea right now," Cyborg said, eyeing the damage Evelyn's powers were continuing to wreak on the structure of the tower.

"No, no, let him talk," Evelyn said, her vicious smile only getting bigger. "He seems to want to get this off his skinny little green chest."

"Yeah, a striptease, and even then, I was scared of what _Raven_ would do to me, not _you_," Beast Boy continued. "I'm _still_ way more scared of Raven that I am of you. You're just some silly crazy girl. Do your worst."

Beast Boy put his hands on his hips and smirked triumphantly. Evelyn's smile widened even further, and she showed some more teeth. The Titans noticed that her fangs now seemed more pronounced than before her little 'redecorating' session.

"My worst, eh?" Evelyn said, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I _would_ kind of like to keep you as a pet, but I'm going to bite it soon anyway, so I might as well give it a go. Here, try this on…"

Evelyn's eyes glowed black for a moment, and Beast Boy screamed and dropped to his knees clutching at his head in agony.

**OOO**

_Inside Beast Boy's mind…_

Beast Boy stood at the edge of a river, lush jungle to his back, staring out over the water. There was a rushing waterfall just a few hundred feet downstream from where he stood, but he could clearly see a boat that had accidentally gotten too close, and was rapidly being drawn towards the swirling maelstrom of white water that heralded the sheer drop beyond.

"No…" he said to himself. Evelyn appeared out of nowhere beside him.

"You recognize this, don't you, _Garfield_?" she said mockingly. "Of course you do—it was your first big failure, after all, wasn't it?"

"Mom…Dad…_no_…" Beast Boy mumbled, totally absorbed in the scene in front of him.

"Oh yes. And look," Evelyn continued, pointing to a small green shape detach from the boat and fly to safety. "There you go." Moments later, the boat went over the waterfall and plunged into oblivion. "Oh, and there _they_ go."

Beast Boy was frozen with horror—he knew that he could turn into an eagle, a pterodactyl,_ anything_, and go out there and save that boat, but all he could do was watch. Evelyn grinned and gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder.

"Ah, buck up, Gar, my boy!" she said. "Don't you worry, you'll get another chance!"

Sure enough, another boat, identical to the first one, appeared further upstream, following the same course that the last one took to its destruction.

"Hey, maybe you'll save them this time!" Evelyn said, but once again the small green shape left the boat to its fate and flew to safety while the boat plummeted over the falls, and all Beast Boy could do was stare, rooted to the spot. "Ooh…okay, maybe not."

"_No_…"

"Okay, okay, maybe this time…oops, my bad. Geez, that's got to hurt. Oh, here comes another one! Oh, that one went over too. Maybe _this_ one…"

**OOO**

Beast Boy was now lying curled up on the ground, the other Titans gathered around him. He had whimpered for the first few seconds, but had since fallen silent, the only signs that he was alive at all being his shallow but steady breathing and the pained expression on his face. Robin turned to Evelyn, his staff held at the ready.

"Whatever it is you're doing to him, stop it _now_," he growled.

"Or what?" Evelyn sneered. "You'll fight me? That's what I want anyway, you retard."

"Let…him…_go!_" Robin snarled. Evelyn chuckled lightly, like she was at some cocktail party rather than surrounded by four angry superheroes in their own home.

"Oh, relax," she said. "All I've done is just set the worst memory in his short, meaningless little life to replay over and over in his mind forever. Nothing a psychic probe to break the loop and a few decades of therapy can't fix. It's a bit of a cheap shot, I'll admit, but it _is_ effective, and I'm guessing you'll be taking me more seriously now."

"Goddammit, I said _let him go!_" Robin shouted, but Evelyn seemed to ignore him.

"I could do the same to the rest of you, of course, but that wouldn't be nearly as much fun as tearing you apart limb from limb," she said. "For instance, Robin, there was something about a circus…what was it again?"

At this, Robin finally snapped. He charged at Evelyn, screaming wordlessly, and the remaining Titans had to hurry to back him up. Robin swung his staff wildly, but Evelyn managed to dodge each strike, laughing as she floated backwards away from him.

"Dammit, Robin, get out of the way!" Cyborg yelled, holding his sonic cannon at the ready. "You're blocking my shot! Get out of there!"

Robin ignored him and continued to lash out at Evelyn. Suddenly, she stopped her retreat, having backed up against a wall, and Robin pressed his advantage with a particularly powerful swing, but at the last second darkness covered Evelyn and she melted away into the floor. Unbalanced by his unexpected miss, Robin was unable to turn in time to see Evelyn reappear directly behind him, and even his years of training in combat and acrobatics could not protect him from her close-range telekinetic burst, which slammed him into the wall and sent him sprawling. With Robin finally out of the way, Cyborg opened fire with his cannon. Starfire joined in with both starbolts and eye beams, and Raven launched a veritable armada of smaller pieces of debris at something approaching the speed of sound. Evelyn only smiled before disappearing under the hail of projectiles, which the three Titans kept up until the outer wall of what had been Evelyn's room had almost entirely collapsed.

"Did we get her?" Cyborg asked as the smoke and dust began to clear.

"I am unsure. I did not see her move out of the way of our attack," Starfire said, squinting her eyes to see better. The dust cloud cleared away, revealing no trace of Evelyn.

"Whoa! We vaporized her!" Cyborg cried.

"I highly doubt that," Raven said, and pointed. Sure enough, Evelyn poked her head out from behind the large hole in her wall—she was unscathed, and now floating just outside the tower.

"Hey, nice shootin' Texes!" Evelyn said, and an expression of mock thoughtfulness crossed her face. "Texi? Doesn't matter. Anyway, thanks for making this convenient little door for me. I'm going to go have some fun in town now, so I'll catch up with you dopes later. See ya, losers!"

With that, Evelyn flew off towards the city, laughing with maniacal glee. Robin stood up from where he had sheltered against his teammates' onslaught, brushing some grey concrete dust off of his cape, and scowled.

"Alright, Cyborg and Raven, we're going after Evelyn. Starfire, make sure Beast Boy is comfortable in the infirmary, and then catch up," Robin said. "We have to contain her fast, before she destroys the city—there's no time to waste. Let's move!"

Raven lifted herself, Robin, and Cyborg off and headed towards the city after Evelyn, while Starfire scooped up the prone Beast Boy and carried him quickly but carefully to the infirmary.

**OOO**

Evelyn was on the Jump City boardwalk. Robin, Cyborg, and Raven had caught up to her sooner then they had anticipated—it was like she had just been waiting for them, amusing herself by randomly destroying property and tormenting any unfortunate passers-by in the meantime. She mostly seemed to be scaring people off, though, and it didn't look like anyone had been seriously hurt so far. Strangely enough, she also seemed to be keeping her promise, and was taking care to inform those she attacked that she was not, in fact, Raven. Whether or not her victims were paying any attention to this as they ran for their lives was not immediately clear. Evelyn was currently holding a young couple locked in the black aura of her telekinetic powers, playing with them like they were nothing more than dolls and muttering darkly about a tea party.

Raven dropped Robin and Cyborg to the boardwalk. They landed running, and Robin hurled an explosive disc at Evelyn. While her powers protected her from the brunt of the blast, her concentration was broken for a moment, and the couple she had been tormenting dropped unceremoniously to the ground—they were apparently unharmed, because they both ran as soon as they realized they were free. Evelyn pouted as the smoke from Robin's attack cleared.

"Awww, you made me drop my new toys! Now I guess I'm going to have to play with…" Evelyn began, but she was interrupted by a blast from Cyborg's sonic cannon, which sent her flying backwards. She skidded to a halt on the boardwalk and got back to her feet with an indignant look on her face.

"Hey! I was doing my villain exposition!" she cried. "You can't shoot me when I'm expositioning…expositing…when I'm talking! That's not fair!"

"No more talk, Evelyn. We aren't going to let you hurt anyone," Robin said and threw another disc. Evelyn dodged it, lifting herself quickly into the air, but instead of detonating normally it began freezing the air around it, creating a pillar of ice that grew upwards faster than Evelyn could levitate, catching her legs. She shrieked and smashed the ice apart with a flurry of black energy, but her moment of immobility was all that Cyborg needed to blast her again, at full power this time. As she tried to recover, Raven hit her from behind with a glowing black hot dog cart that had long since been abandoned by its owner, sending Evelyn sprawling forward with a cry of frustration.

"That's it, Titans! Keep up the pressure!" Robin shouted. "If we can keep her from concentrating, we can…"

Robin was cut off by Evelyn's scream of rage, and he turned to see a veritable armada of glowing, levitated cars speed towards him and his team.

"_You want to throw things, Titans?_" Evelyn screamed, her powers crackling around her in a sinister aura. "_Well I can throw things, too!_"

_-END CHAPTER SIX-_

**Author's Note:** Okay, first I would like to apologize for this taking so damned long. Between exams and me just feeling completely uninspired for the past few weeks (going on months, now), I just wasn't writing anything. These are, of course, merely excuses, but whatever. Here's the update, anyway.

I suppose I should also apologize for leaving you guys with a cliffhanger after all this time, but now that I'm working on this again, I hope it won't be too much longer before I'm done Chapter Seven. I had actually originally planned this to be the last chapter, but between the big fight scene, the end of said fight scene, and some denouement crap at the end, it all wouldn't fit into what I consider a decent-sized chapter. While this one might be a little short, if I had put it all together it would have been quite long. Just having _something_ to post after leaving this for such a long time was another consideration.

Some stuff I'd just like to mention: as far as I've looked into it, I have the death of Beast Boy's parents reasonably correct here. From what I've seen in various places online (I would heartily recommend Titans Tower for research purposes, if I'm allowed to do that—just Google it), it was something along the lines of his parents telling the young Beast Boy to change into a bird and save himself rather than risking his life to save them from the boat. He did, and now he feels guilty about it. As for Evelyn's rather politically incorrect "half-blood rape child" comment, well, that's what Raven is, when you get right down to it. Trigon raped her mother in order to produce the half-demon child that he could then use to help him take over the world/universe/whatever. Of course, I've also seen stuff that suggests that he simply tricked her mom into sleeping with him, but I don't think Evelyn would be one for using the moderate version. Saying "Yeah, well your mom is pretty gullible!" lacks the same kind of punch.

Finally, for all you nitpickers out there: yes, I realize that in Chapter 2 I said Evelyn's 'female supervillain' top was a tube top, but I have since come to the conclusion that I want her to look _evil_, not like trailer trash. I don't know why, but the bustier accomplishes that better, at least in my opinion (maybe because it's classier?). Anyway, consider that tube top to be ret-conned out of existence—hey, if DC can do it with Superman's origin story, why can't I do it with a stupid tube top?


	7. Ch 7: Alpha One

(Disclaimer: Once more, with spirit! I don't own the Teen Titans!)

_-CHAPTER SEVEN: ALPHA ONE-_

The boardwalk was a mess. Most of the raised parts had collapsed, and the beach was strewn with debris and the occasional destroyed car. Evelyn had pushed further into the city, and was now wreaking havoc amongst the various little shops that made up the waterfront shopping district. Robin, Cyborg, and Raven were trying desperately to hold her off, but while they were slowing her advance considerably Evelyn was still making steady progress in her program of destruction.

This is not to say that everything was going Evelyn's way, though. Having to fight through even just three of the Titans took a fair bit of effort on her part—for all her bravado in saying she could simply take over their minds like she had Beast Boy's, doing so in the heat of battle was next to impossible. Even an experienced manipulator like Brother Blood had needed to first subdue his victims so that he could concentrate. This being the case, Evelyn was currently pushing her powers near to their limit, and just as Raven had predicted this was beginning to degrade the spell holding her physical form together. While it didn't much matter to her use of telekinesis, Evelyn noticed that she was slowly becoming less coordinated, and that she was starting to slur her speech. She ignored these effects and focussed on the fight, but they didn't escape Robin's attention.

"You're already starting to fall apart, aren't you, Evelyn?" he said during a lull in the battle. "Give up now—we'll make sure you're comfortable until the end."

"Yeah, right," Evelyn said with a derisive snort. "I'll be nice and comfortable locked up tight in my room, right?"

"That's not…" Robin began, but Evelyn cut him off by launching a chunk of masonry at him. He leapt aside as it smashed on the pavement, but Evelyn used her powers to redirect the sharp pieces of brick and stone towards him in a second attack. Raven threw a quick shield up around Robin, but in the process she took her concentration off of Evelyn long enough for the evil girl to uproot a streetlight and wrap it around Raven's body. Robin threw a handful of birdarangs at Evelyn, distracting her just long enough to cover Cyborg as he ran to catch Raven as she plummeted to the ground. Tucking her under one arm like a football, Cyborg then retreated into one of the nearby abandoned shops, smashing in through the wall with one hand held out in front of him. Robin followed, throwing another explosive disc as he went.

"Well, _that_ was embarrassing," Raven said as Cyborg set her down and began unbending the streetlight to free her.

"Hey, just be glad I didn't spike you into the ground and do my touchdown dance," he replied with a small smile. The brief moment of levity was quickly broken as a city bus was slammed through the wall near where they were hiding. Robin punched the wall in frustration.

"This isn't working," he said. "We aren't slowing her down enough. We need…"

"Starfire to Robin, get out, Robin," Starfire's voice said from the communicator on Robin's belt.

"Does she mean 'come in'?" Cyborg asked, and Raven shrugged. Robin ignored both of them and grabbed the communicator.

"Starfire, thank God, where are you?" he said.

"Please forgive my lateness," Starfire said. "I am currently nearing your position as quickly as I am able—from which direction would you prefer for me to reinforce you?"

"Circle around to the east and try to get her back out into the bay," Robin replied. "Hit her as hard as you can—use manoeuvre alpha one, just like in the special practices we've been having."

"But Robin, will Raven not…" Starfire began, but Robin cut her off.

"It needs to be done. We'll try to distract Evelyn to give you a clear shot. Robin out."

"What's manoeuvre alpha one? It sounds pretty major," Cyborg said.

"And what are these special practices you mentioned?" Raven asked.

"Don't worry about it. As for what alpha one is, well, you'll see," Robin said with a grim smile. "Now, let's get distracting! Titans, _go!_"

Robin leapt through the shop's window, throwing three explosive discs at once. Cyborg simply smashed back out through the wall, planted his feet, and fired his sonic cannon at full power. Raven teleported in her astral form, launching a barrage of glowing black energy bolts as she reappeared. None of this did any damage to Evelyn, who dodged all the attacks with ease, but then they weren't supposed to hit her—they had done their job, which was to keep her from noticing Starfire, who was flying in from the east at several times the speed of sound, aiming directly for Evelyn, fists first.

The sound when Starfire connected was like a shotgun going off, only much, much louder—the shockwave shattered what few windows had been left intact in the area, and the wind from her passing swirled dust and even small pieces of masonry up into a vortex in her wake. Keeping her momentum, Starfire had pushed Evelyn back out over the boardwalk in a matter of an instant, and it didn't look like she was going to be stopping any time soon.

"Whoa," Raven said simply.

"Booyah! Alpha one, baby!" Cyborg shouted, pumping his fist in the air. "Man, Star's taking her out to sea! Pretty soon Aqualad's gonna have to be the one to deal with her!"

"Yeah, Starfire can get up around Mach four in Earth's atmosphere," Robin said, smiling proudly. "Between that momentum and her natural strength, manoeuvre alpha one would even have _Superman_ worrying."

The Titans' jubilation was cut short, however, by a massive explosion of black energy out over the ocean. They had to dive for cover as the shockwave rolled over them—for an instant, it was if they were in the middle of a hurricane. The remains of the already devastated boardwalk were ripped from their moorings and tossed like they were matchstick models, sending large pieces of wood several blocks into the city. Close behind the shockwave came an orange blur that skipped off the water in the bay once before ploughing into the ground in the ruined shopping district, heaving up chunks of road and collapsing several buildings before finally coming to a halt in the remains of a building near where the Titans had taken cover.

"Oh, my God…Starfire…" Robin said, then began running towards the wreckage. "Starfire!"

He began frantically tossing aside chunks of concrete and masonry. Cyborg and Raven joined in, and it was not long before they had dug Starfire out. Her costume was almost in tatters, she was covered in cuts and scrapes, and her right arm hung at an odd angle—her shoulder had been dislocated. From the way she was breathing, Robin figured a fair number of her ribs had been broken as well.

"Starfire! Starfire, can you hear me?" Robin said. She was looking around, but her eyes didn't seem to be focussing very well.

"X'hal! Nottuk'lash dak'kar grun! Hrudnek!" Starfire raved in Tamaranian, delirious with pain and concussion. "Worg uk var duk'ka!"

Starfire struggled a little, trying to stand on her own, but even her alien strength failed, and she fell back to the ruined pavement, breathing shallowly.

"Raven, can you heal her?" Robin asked, his voice tight with desperation.

"Not now," Raven said. "I need time, and Evelyn could be…"

"Wha', back any ssecond?"

The Titans turned to see Evelyn floating towards them, her powers crackling around her again like they had in the tower, but times ten. However, despite this obvious boost in power, she looked significantly the worse for wear—blood trickled from her nose, and her face had become slack and expressionless. Her arms and legs dangled, useless, their only movement being an occasional spasm that seemed to run through her entire body. She appeared to be animated by her powers and little else. Only her eyes remained unchanged, glowing red orbs filled with nothing but malice and rage.

"Tha' acshully _hurt_, Titanss. Good on ya," Evelyn slurred, managing a small sadistic smile before her face fell slack again. "Bu' now yer down Ssstarf're, and _I've_ br'ken m'limatashunss." She paused to look down at herself, and another spasm ran through her body.

"Heh. Looksss like I'm nearin' th'end of m'rope, though," Evelyn continued, again attempting a grin. "Better make th'mosst of it, huh?"

"Raven, get Starfire out of here!" Robin shouted, but he was too late.

Having lost much of her control over her body, Evelyn made no dramatic sweeping gestures, as Raven often did when using her powers. She didn't even recite a spell of some kind—she suddenly just opened her eyes up wide, and her powers went wild. The remaining Titans didn't even stand a chance, as anything they tried was countered and turned against them with the speed of thought. It was all they could do to stay alive, much less launch a counterattack. Still, they tried. Cyborg fired his sonic cannon, but a wall of black energy stopped the beam like he was just using a hair dryer, while black tendrils wrapped themselves around his mechanical limbs and tore them off. He fell backwards with a grunt of pain, his exposed machine parts sparking. Raven tried to grab onto any pieces of wreckage she could find to hurl them at Evelyn, but Evelyn's powers simply overrode her own. Raven gasped as black energy closed in around her, squeezing her as though it would crush the life out of her, but then settling for simply throwing her hard against one of the few nearby walls that were still standing, nearly knocking her unconscious. As Robin reached for the last few birdarangs he had on his belt, he felt a vice-like grip close over his wrist, and before he even realized what was happening he had been thrown to the ground, his arm locked behind his back. Evelyn appeared in his peripheral vision, floating lazily only a few feet from where he lay struggling.

"Ssso _eassy_," Evelyn said. "Barely even wort' th'effor'." She glanced over to where Starfire still lay—she had finally succumbed to unconsciousness—and attempted another grin.

"Now, I w'nder wha' I should do wit' _'er_…" Evelyn mused aloud, and Robin's struggles became more frantic.

"Don't you _dare_ hurt her!" he shouted. "I swear, if you so much as…"

"_Quiet!_" Evelyn yelled, slamming Robin even harder into the pavement. "Y'know wha'? I don' think I'm gonna kill 'er. Yer the type who jusss hard'nss wit' lossss. I wan' _'er_ t'lose _you_. Whaddya think tha'll do t'her?"

Robin screamed and struggled as hard as he could, but Evelyn only leaned closer.

"D'ya think she'll cry? D'ya think she'll break? D'ya think she'll jus' ssnap 'n' charge me wit'out thinkin'?" Evelyn whispered, and laughed. "Prob'ly th'last one, I figger. She'll be dyin' pretty sssoon aft'r you, then."

Robin felt the pressure begin to increase on the back of his head, driving his face into the pavement, but suddenly it released, and not just on his head—Evelyn's hold over his whole body had disappeared. He quickly rolled away and dragged himself to his feet, lights dancing in front of his eyes, before turning to see the source of his good fortune.

Evelyn had dropped to the ground where she had been floating, and was on her hands and knees coughing and retching. Robin saw that the ground in front of her was spattered with dark blood.

"You're dying, Evelyn. Give up," he said, trying to sound like he wasn't about to drop dead from exhaustion.

"_Nnnoooooo_…" Evelyn rasped, clutching her chest as a particularly large spasm wracked her body. "Ssso closssse…"

"It's over," Robin said, taking a step towards her. "Stop fighting."

"_NO!_" Evelyn screamed, launching a bolt of glowing darkness at Robin. He ducked, knowing it wouldn't be enough, but the painful blast he expected didn't come. Robin looked up, seeing a shield of black energy around his body, and Raven leaning against a large chunk of concrete nearby, one hand extended and shaking with effort. Evelyn slumped, almost falling in on herself, as Raven retracted the energy shield.

"You're getting weaker, Evelyn," Raven said. "You can't beat us now. Robin was right—it's over."

Evelyn was silent for a moment, staring at the pattern her blood had made on the ground, but then she began to laugh. It was a laugh of real, if somewhat morbid, humour, and her face regained the barest fraction of the life and expression it had once displayed, but there was an edge of desperation to it all that made it plain that this was the very last of her energy. Evelyn clumsily wiped the blood from her mouth and nose, doing little more than just smearing it across her face, and kept laughing.

"Tha'ss jussst it, isn't it?" she said. "You think thiss is over? Big vict'ry fer th'Titanss? Hah! Yer juss' cleanin' up a li'l messs _she_ made." Evelyn turned to Raven.

"C'mon, Rae, you 'n' I, we know better," Evelyn continued. "I'm jus' a preview—it'ss not m'time yet. Thiss was a bonusss round. An' even if I die, ya won' really be rid o' me. When th'time comesss, when _Daddy_ getss here, you're gonna _be_ me, Rae, an' then _nothin'_ will save you, 'cause _you'll_ be th'one who people'll need savin' _from_."

Evelyn's laughter was suddenly interrupted by a fit of coughing, and when she looked up again, more blood was trickling from her mouth. She smiled.

"Now tha' I think abou' it, s'acshully _better_ thiss way, wit' all yer li'l friends escapin' me wit' their livesss," Evelyn said, her voice barely more than a whisper. "'Cause, y'ssee, now _you_ get t'be th'one t'kill 'em. Won' tha' be _fun?_"

Raven stared in horror as Evelyn began laughing again, blood still running from her nose and mouth, pausing every so often to cough and retch. Absurdly, Raven noticed that Evelyn's pale skin, now even paler than usual, contrasted sharply with her black tattoos and red blood smeared across her face. Suddenly, Evelyn hissed in pain and clutched at her chest. Tendons stood out on her neck and she gritted her teeth as she threw her head back, her eyes closed tightly. When she reopened them, they no longer glowed red—they had become an all-too-familiar deep violet, just in time for a last look of desperation to cross her face before she finally pitched forward—she was dead. Raven and Robin just stared at Evelyn's body for a moment.

"It…it looks like she had a heart attack," Robin said at last.

"That makes sense. The heart is constantly working, so it's often one of the first things to break down," Raven replied, her voice settling into a mechanical monotone.

"Raven…her eyes…just before she died, they…" Robin began, but Raven interrupted him.

"It was her last shot at me, just for spite," she said. "She just wanted to show me my own death."

Robin nodded absentmindedly, and turned to stare at Evelyn's body again. It was already disintegrating, as the spells that held it together began to break down faster and faster. Robin sighed and turned back to look at Raven.

"Let's go home."

**OOO**

"Friend Robin, please! I have returned to full health!" Starfire cried. She was sitting up in her infirmary bed—Robin had caught her removing her bandages, and was not happy. He just shook his head.

"No, truly! Upon my honour, I am fully healed and ready to renew my fight against the criminal element of this world!" Starfire continued, swinging her legs out of bed and standing up. She wobbled for a moment, but then found her balance and grinned.

"Do you see? Tamaranians are renowned throughout the galaxy as remarkably quick healers, and I…ow, ow, ow," Starfire said—she had punctuated the 'I' by jabbing her thumb into her chest, and had to sit down quickly to avoid having her legs collapse underneath her from the pain.

"What I see, Starfire, is that your ribs are obviously still fractured at the very least," Robin said. "I know that you heal quickly, and that we have Raven to help with the worst of it, but to be up and about only a day after getting a serious concussion and having most of your ribs broken is still a bit much. Take it easy. Things are quiet, so just get some rest." Starfire nodded dejectedly and settled back into bed. Robin reached for the remote control sitting on the table beside him.

"Here, I know it's boring just sitting in the infirmary, so why don't you watch some TV?" he said, pressing a series of buttons on the remote. A panel in the ceiling retracted and a small television set mounted on a mechanical arm dropped into view. Robin handed the remote to Starfire, who smiled weakly. He smiled back, patted her hand, and turned to leave the room. As the infirmary door closed behind him, Robin heard Starfire's muffled voice exclaiming: "Oooh! Spongebob!" He smiled.

**OOO**

"Hey, Cyborg, have you seen Beast Boy around?" Robin asked as he stepped into the living room, where Cyborg was busily playing video games.

"Yeah, he's in his room—said he needed some time alone," Cyborg said, not taking his eyes off of the screen. "I tried to get him out of there to try to get his mind off of things, but no luck. I even promised to let him beat me at Mega Ultra Blaster Team Battle X."

"Huh. I think I'll go check on him," Robin said, but paused. "I assume your repairs went alright."

"Oh, yeah, no problem. I've had worse," Cyborg said, still not looking up from his game. "Getting that first arm back on can be a bit of a pain, but after that it's a cinch."

"Good, good. Well, I won't keep you from your game," Robin said with a grin. He turned and left, heading for Beast Boy's bedroom.

"Aw, man. I swear, this stupid computer _cheats_," Cyborg said, as the phrase "U G0T PWNZORD!1" appeared on the screen in large flashing letters.

**OOO**

"Beast Boy? Are you in there?" Robin called as he knocked on Beast Boy's door for the third time. It finally opened, and the shorter green boy stared up at him, a melancholy expression on his face, but said nothing.

"Um…hey, Beast Boy, Cyborg said you were just staying in your room, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay…" Robin began, but stopped and sighed. "God, that sounds stupid—of course you're not okay." Robin ran a hand through his hair nervously.

"Right, I'll leave you alone now," he said. "You _are_ going to be okay eventually, though, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine," Beast Boy said with a small smile. "It's just old memories, you know? Nothing I haven't had to deal with before, but I wasn't ready to get them forced on me like that. Just give me a little while."

Robin nodded and returned the smile as Beast Boy closed his door. Robin turned and made his way back down the hall, lost in thought.

_Well, one left to check on,_ he thought. _This is going to be difficult._

**OOO**

"Raven?" Robin said hesitantly. He was standing on the roof of the tower, and Raven was hovering several feet away, meditating. She had stopped chanting—Robin knew that this would probably be the only sign she would give that she was listening to him.

"I hate to interrupt you, but I was just making sure everyone was okay," Robin said. "It's been about a day since, well, you know, so I figure we've all had time to cool off and take stock, so…"

"Robin," Raven said, "you're babbling." Robin blushed.

"Uh, yeah, well, interfering with your meditation always makes me nervous," he said. "I think I still have some bruises from the last time." Raven grinned, her eyes still closed.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking," she said. "How are the others?"

"They're all fine. Starfire's just going to have to take it easy until her ribs heal up all the way, Cyborg fixed himself in a matter of hours, and Beast Boy…well, he's going to need some time, but he'll be alright," Robin said, noting the guilt in Raven's voice.

"That's good," Raven said, and Robin took note of the relief her voice now contained.

"Raven, you can't hold yourself responsible for all of this," he said. "You were understandably excited about the idea of getting out from under your father's shadow, and you made a mistake that _anyone_ could have made. And besides, even if Evelyn came from your dark emotions, she was a totally separate person. You shouldn't blame yourself for what she did. It isn't your fault."

"But you all got hurt," Raven whispered.

"We're superheroes, Evelyn was a supervillain—stuff happens, Raven," Robin said with a shrug. "We're all going to get hurt sometimes. I mean, when I was still with Batman, I saw him get shot at least half a dozen times, and he's _way_ more experienced than any of _us_. He never let it stop him, either."

"I suppose you're right," Raven said. She still hadn't moved from her meditative position.

"Of course. And everything worked out okay in the end, so don't worry about it," Robin said. "Well, I'll leave you to your meditation." He turned to leave, but Raven stopped him.

"Oh, about the way things ended—that reminds me, you never did tell me about those 'special practices' you've been having with Starfire," she said. Robin stopped dead.

"What, the practices with manoeuvre alpha one?" he said, keeping his back turned to Raven. "Oh, just something I've been, uh, working on with her to push her limits, expand her arsenal of techniques, that sort of thing."

"Mmhmm," Raven said. "And tell me, Robin, are Cyborg and Beast Boy going to be getting any special anti-Raven training too?" Robin's eyes widened in shock.

"Uh…um…I'm not sure I…uh…well…" he sputtered.

_Oh, hell. She'll be able to tell I'm lying now anyway,_ Robin thought, and sighed.

"I'm sorry about going behind your back like that, Raven, but…" he began, but Raven cut him off.

"Don't apologize. It's a good idea," she said. "If things go bad when my father makes his move and I…well, just promise me you'll do whatever it takes to finish it."

"Raven, I…"

"_Promise me!_"

Robin turned to look at Raven. She had also finally turned to look at him, and he now noticed that her eyes were rimmed with red—she had been crying, or at least as close to crying as she could get without having her powers go haywire. Robin looked away, unable to hold her gaze.

"I promise," he said. Raven heaved a sigh of relief.

"Thank you," she whispered. "You should probably go see Starfire. I'm sure she's getting bored."

Robin nodded and turned to go back inside the tower, leaving Raven alone with the sunset.

_-FIN-_

**Author's Note:** This is the last chapter of Split. It is now over. I had originally intended it to be a short little mostly humorous story of no more than six or seven chapters with a more serious ending fight scene that I would finish in a couple of weeks, start to finish. While the first bits held up okay, that last thing about me finishing in a couple of weeks has kind of really not happened. Yes, 'kind of really'—what can I say, I'm a linguistic trendsetter. Everyone will be saying it in a few weeks, just you wait. Anyway, while I risk sounding full of myself, I'll pre-empt the requests to continue that I've gotten in the past when ending a story by saying this: I can't see any way to extend this story at all. I mean, Evelyn, the central figure of this whole story, is dead. Yes, dead. And I don't mean in that special comic book way, where they come back after a few years—she's _dead_, period. Granted, 'dead' might not be the most appropriate word to use here, since she was arguably never alive at all, but in any case she won't be coming back. I will be attempting to finish my other unfinished story, Stalker (which will be renamed 'Watched') next, and then moving on to some other ideas I have for stories. Please don't ask me to continue Split. If you really like the idea and want to see more done with it, why don't _you_ write a story along the same lines? That's what FanFiction is supposed to be about, right? You write what you want. I'm not getting paid for this, so it's not like I care about people 'stealing' my ideas—if anything, I'd like to see what kinds of variations people might make on the whole evil double theme.

For those of you who are wondering about the abrupt change from humour to seriousness in the last two chapters (this one included), yes, this was my plan from the very start. I wanted to do something to get a bit of a shock out of some people, but without using the f-word and thereby raising my rating (which I think is a cheap way to go for shock value anyway). I settled on having a large contrast between the early and later chapters. Let me know if it worked.

So now I just have to force myself to finish the last few chapters of Stalker/Watched before I get onto the new stuff I want to write (which will hopefully not fall by the wayside halfway through, like Stalker and Split did). To the Bag Cave!

**To My Reviewers:** First off, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, and especially those who stayed interested in Split even with that long, impromptu hiatus of mine. Thanks for putting up with my bullshit. On to the individual stuff (sorry for missing that in the last chapter, by the way)…

Gespenst: Unfortunately, Evelyn's funnier ideas just weren't happening in the last two chapters. I mean, she didn't even get to have that tea party with those poor hapless citizens!

Blackbird: Sorry, but like I said, Evelyn is dead. I like having reasonably self-contained stories, since going off on huge tangents that eventually have nothing to do with the Teen Titans in any way, shape, or form doesn't appeal to me ("And now, the Teen Titans! Attending high school! In space! In another dimension! Starring the cast of Baywatch!"). I prefer to leave no loose ends with my stories, and Evelyn would have been a _huge_ loose end. It _would_ be funny to see her interact with one of the Titan's sillier villains, though, like Mad Mod or something (not that he'd last too long, of course). Thanks for the support over changing that tube top, too. Man, was that ever a mistake. Sure, it shows cleavage, but it isn't very supervillain-ish. And there is always something slightly sinister about full-body tattoos. Oh, and the Akira reference in "Employee of the Month" was the way the Source's big mechanical-looking container opened up to reveal his little jar (dust flying, giant inexplicable tubes going everywhere, and so on).

palekel: Ah, the mystic enema. Much maligned and often simply ignored by many magic users, largely because of its unfortunate name, this simple procedure can purge dark emotions, bad karma, and any number of other troublesome things one might encounter. Of course, due to the twisted sense of humour that apparently permeates the magical world, these troublesome things, once purged, will usually be concentrated to the point of physical manifestation, thus presenting a single big troublesome thing capable of doing even more troublesome things. In case you hadn't noticed, I also need help in the worst way.

Ultimate R-Man: Sure, he only wrote the comics, but as the originator of all things Dragon Ball, Akira Toriyama must still pay for all the suffering I have endured! I'm kidding, of course. Anyway, I realize that the striptease scene in Chapter Five was pushing the limit of my rating a little, but I would certainly hesitate to call it soft porn. It was definitely not written with the intention to arouse, which is the defining characteristic of any kind of porn, in my opinion (even if it fails miserably in this intention, porn is usually recognizable as such by clearly being made with that intention in mind). But I suppose that this is neither the time nor the place for a discussion of the nature of pornography (which is, incidentally, a fun word to yell at pedestrians from moving vehicles, or so my little sister tells me).

The Mad shoe1: Thanks!

Slade2.0: Poor Beast Boy indeed, especially after last chapter.

ravenrocs4eva: Things are never as nice where you live as the tourists seem to think they are, I've found ("Sure, it's nice to live in the Bahamas, but let me tell you, the sand gets _everywhere_."). But still, at least the Bahamas are in the warm.

CrAzY aUtHoR pErSoN: I think I got that rage of terror. Did you send it with Fed Ex? Same with the rabid bunnies. And thanks for adding me to your C2. I feel special! And not in the short bus way, either!

CloudsHalo: Thanks! Oh, and I'm a philosophy student—words that consist of adjectives like 'awesome' with 'ness' added on the end to create a noun are entirely familiar to me (even adding 'ness' onto other nouns, like 'chairness'—I'm not kidding).

TDG3RD: Thanks. That switch was one of the things that I was worried about with this story. I'm all about the mental scars.

BolenPUCR: Like I said in my Author's Note above, that contrast between the comedy and the serious evil was done on purpose for shock, as well as to accentuate the evil when it finally showed up. Glad to see that it worked out okay.


End file.
